Thursday, February 22, 2007

Gong Xi Fa Chai !!!

Ah... It's that time of the year again. The time of the year when we actually enjoy watching television ads, the time of the year when Mandarin oranges becomes a staple food AND when your neighbours inconsiderately belt out Chinese oldies on their karaoke machine with their 'malaysian-idols-rejects' friends at 1 in the morning hoping their melodious voices would bring in 'choi san ye' (God of Prosperity) .

Ask me how I slept that night. I packed up my pillow and comforter and spent the night in the attic. Although a hot, humid night without air-conditioning, I would much prefer that than listening to cows belching gas into the face of a donkey which goes ' HEEEE-HAWWWW HEEEE-HAWWWWW '.
YES! That was what their singing sound like.

But c'mon, let's not be so negative this festive season shall we..

Every kid loves Chinese new year, or any festive celebration for that matter. We get ang pows, endless source of cookies and sweets, plus we always get compliments from relatives -
1. "Wah..Dai go zho lo..." which means
Wah...grow big already lorrr...
(grow big as in the growth in general okay..)

2. "Wah...Dai zho, bak zho yau leng zho lo..." which means
Wah...grown, fairer and prettier/handsomer already lorrr which also means
Wah...used to be so short, black and ugly one also can become good looking now.
Miracle lorrr...

But then again...let's not be so negative...

Chinese New Year always meant good food. It is because during this festive season, everything is considered prosperous. An expensive meal - RM 888, no problem... Very 'ong' (auspiscious) number mer.. Good to kick start the new year!
After this meal, we are all going to be 'ong'.
That is after we settle the credit card bill worth RM 8888.

Now here's some good news.

According to Chinese astrology, the dragon and the tiger are the two zodiacs which will be the luckiest for the year. Here's what I found on Yahoo!

The Dragon is supposed to be a lucky sign, and you'll prove it! Several lucky stars shine on your every endeavor, and both Pig and Fire favor you.
Dragon Rating
69% (1 neutral, 1 unfavorable and 10 favorable months)
Dragon Career
Smooth sailing. Sales people and anyone on commission could be in for a nice bonus.
Dragon Relationships
Lucky in love. If you've been looking for a new love interest, this could be the time you find it. It's a great time for a wedding.
Dragon Health
Not likely to experience any new, health significant problems. If you're really lucky, an existing one might even be cleared up.
Dragon Wealth
A significant amount of money could come your way, perhaps an unexpected inheritance.

There is one unfavourable month though. It isn't stated but I really hope it isn't December. All I wish for this year is my 4As.... Please please please.....

Without fire crackers to play with, it has been quite a quiet cny. Very empty without that 'Gong Hei Fatt Choi' noisiness spirit. I remember when I was younger, everyday after dinner me and my cousins would play with fire crackers across the streets in this open hall space. We would make a mess everywhere then send our maids to clean it up. Spoiled brats... Sometimes we would try to light the fire cracker inside those huge bamboo basket for disposing garbage and see what would happen. Most of the time the garbage will catch fire and sent the whole basket in flames, sending our maids yelling and waving frantically.

Alright. This has been very whiny and sarcastic.

Conclusion - One day Jess is gonna be the Grinch who stole Chinese New Year.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


As you would have know, Valentines has came, conquered, and went by. I was late to school in the morning, and I actually heard the radio calling Valentines the singles' awareness day for all singles in the world. So very true.

You can label my relationship as 'it's complicated' but I had really enjoyed today. For me, just being able to spend time with someone special is already awesome.
Valentines - the perfect excuse to sink my teeth into those guilty pleasures. Dark chocolate with marshmellows washed down with Starbucks coffee...
I also learned how to bake cheese cake from Yik Peng! Thanks Y.Peng!
Now I can bake my own, then indulge in the calories when I'm sad and lonely the next valentines. hehe

Although many people call Valentines a rip-off totally commercialize celebration created by the filthy-rich Hallmark, I still think there has to be some special meaning in this day for many. It need not be an expensive dinner or rip-off 'valentines special rings' with a RM1000 price tag. It can be a burnt self-made dinner and a pretty (cheapskate) broomstick.
Yes. You heard me right. (Cheapskate) Broomstick.

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Not the Harry Potter one. Whatever Nimbus-3000.
Not the Sabrina teenage witch one also la.
But I thought the last episode she was using a vacumn cleaner instead of a broomstick already. Witches nowadays also know how to be canggih okay..

So pretty right the (cheapskate) broomstick in the pic? The 'burnt dinner & broomstick' are one of the few stories featured in R.AGE V-Day's issue. But mind you, all of those mentioned above are gift options for GIRLS ONLY.

If you are a girl, you give him a (cheapskate) broomstick, he will laugh and say thanks.
If you are a girl, you wanted to make him a nice meal but burnt the house down instead, he will laugh forcefully and say tak apa lah..


If you are a guy, you give her a bloody cheapskate broomstick, she will freakin' whack the crap out of you with the freakin' broomstick.
If you are a guy, you burnt her house down in the process of making her a romantic dinner,

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J : "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?".

R : "Oh thy fair Juliet, thy have torched down our cottage. We now have nothing but clothes on our back."

J : "Oh thou foolish man! What do thou think thou art doing trying to cook?"

R : "My fair Juliet, a nice dinner was what thy want to give thou for Valentines."


And Romeo never saw Juliet ever again. Romeo spent the rest of his life begging on the street while Juliet married another fat, bald and rich man who have gourmet chefs to cook her valentines dinner.

Never say we didn't warn you first, guys.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

When your palms are sweating, feeling a billion tons of pressure upon your brain, glancing at the watch every five minute, anticipating (or not) the next Chemistry paper while faced with a zillion of mind boggling Chemistry/Biology questions, did you say -

I can't do this anymore! I must be more hardworking, not procrastinate and study last minute like this!!

Did you???
hehe. Just admit you did.

And then. Did you really do as you said?
hehe. Just admit you didn't.


For Jess Loke. Somehow, no one believes when I say I don't study for exams. People will go, lie one la you.. Only my most beloved knows that I never do study for exams. Gosh. Only when I reach the school, I will go, eh, what paper are we having today?

I really don't get why some people are so kiasu. C''s just a paper. With couple of numbers on it. Numbers that might be in red. Boldly written in your report book. That will be seen when examined by your parents! Ahhh....


I really thank God for giving me parents who doesn't push me like hell to study. They give me the freedom to play and run around the house in circles until I'm tired and decided to sit down and study. However, most of the time when I'm tired of playing I'll just lie down on my bed, reading a novel then doze off with the lights on, salivating on the novel next to my head.

That is how I spent this exam week. Every night without fail, the same thing.

Sorry about the library's novel people. Some of my precious DNA is on it.

Somehow I'm more rajin when there isn't an exam. I don't know why. It's like when exam is here you get that 'study later lah' syndrome. Then when you finally sit down you realised there's SO DAMN MUCH more to study! OH NO! LORD HELP ME! Then at that point, you vowed to never procrastinate again. But, the process just keeps repeating itself. It's just so amusing to watch.

I've been wondering if we can just somehow store the feeling of being so pressured without ample time to finish our studies, that exact condition, then we will know how it feels back at usual times and won't repeat that process again. One day I shall invent that technology and become the most kiasu fella on earth. But I guess by that time I'm already old and grey, instead of who will get the highest marks for Biology, the race will be who will die last. We will then all be kiasi (scared to die) instead of kiasu (scared to lose).

Pn P once told me, in this life, you have to kia three things.
1. Kiasu
2. Kiasi
3. Kiabo ( scared of wife)

Interesting theory. Pn P's husband must be really scared of her.

There are just some things in life you can never change. Your height for example.
To people who call Jess (5'4'') short,
1. I've done skipping twice a week continuously.
2. Drink all kinds of chinese herbs which claims that it helps growth.
( perhaps sideway instead of vertically)
3. Hypnotize my legs to grow.

At least my hypnotize techniques works on my brain because it believes that I'm 5'4''.

Defending the short people in the whole wide world -
Stop telling us we're short la okay. It's like telling 'fei mao' he's fat. You think 'fei mao' doesn't know he's fat meh? You dont' think we acknowledge that's we're a few inches shorter than you is it?! Must rub salt in the wound some more. Cis! Bedebah! You think damn fun to pay 10 bucks to sit in the cinema watching only half the screen is it?! You think damn fun to try so hard to reach my hands out towards the touch & go toll booth for few minutes and then give up, getting down from the car to be able to touch then go is it??!!

I'm very ee-mo now.
And shall stop blogging this instant.

Yours truly,
Jess 5'4''