Sunday, December 30, 2007

Emo-ness Be Gone!

Thank you loyal readers who read Jess' life stories.

Emo Jess is mostly gone.
Only fragments and yucky juice left.

Happy Jess shall be reborn!

Just treat her to a nice meal in an Italian restaurant with about 100 frappuccinos and latte to wash it down.

Then after that, a lifetime membership with true fitness, celebrity fitness or Marie france body line.

Let's all review some incredible soul-healing techniques today.


3. Breakdance

Like I told you before, Jess enjoys breakdancing while home alone. And she try to do it too when she's upset about life. Breakdancing allow yourself to feel completely in control of your body.




And if you break an arm or two, the pain will DEFINITELY be enough to distract you from your miserable life.


2. LOUD MUSIC

Whoever told you to turn on a sad song while you're sad is trying to kill you.

Sorry Emo Jude Lau....

When you're sad, DO NOT listen to emo songs like How to Safe a Life or Cry by Mandy Moore. You will most likely continue crying and keep waiting for people to save your pathetic life.

Listen to - MY HUMPS from Black Eyed Peas



Not only shaking your lovely humps prevent you from being depressed, it's also therapeutic in the sense it can help your humps grow.

Disclaimer : Please don't text me and tell me how much it has shrunk.



1. Watch EMO drama series

Unlike listening to emo music, emo drama series can help you feel that the other person's life is much more pathetic compared to yours. This is very much due to the exaggeration like One Tree Hill where everybody in town has slept with everybody else.


Seriously I love the series especially cute husband Nathan but...........wtf???


All drama series are considered emo because someone tend to die in it or be terminally ill. This is especially true when it comes to your everyday Hong Kong canto-drama. There will always be this love triangle where the ending will either be


a. one of them give up, go melancong luar negara
b. one of them have cancer or leukemia and 'menyempurna' the both




Weird looking i-dunno-how-to-smile left guy :

Hey! Lift your fingers off my shoulders and give up and go melancong around the world!


Very funny looking mata sepet right guy :

Look at me! Where do I have the money? It would definitely easier if you got AIDS or something considering the fact your ENTIRE ARM is over my shoulders.



And that concludes another session of fantastic story-telling by Jess the Great.

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