Wednesday, February 13, 2008

What Is Your Best Scratching Experience?

It's like Starbucks motto, what's your best Starbucks experience, except without the over-priced coffee and giant sofas.

Lately I've been thinking about the bad habits I have, smoking, drinking, taking drugs being promiscuous and what not. But there's this bad habit I've been carrying for the rest of my life - peeing like a dog.

Hahahahaha.....
Of course not, but wouldn't it be fun???

I have this bad habit of scratching myself wherever, whenever, whoever.
I scratch my head, then I also scratch my friend's head.
Then continue with any part of Jess' anatomy.

Jess you're such a great friend...

Remember my joke about that, the one about anatomy?!?!?
I was considering taking up either medicine or film studies, so I decided to do both then after that I can produce Loke's anatomy and be a real doctor in it!

Anyways, I was saying I enjoy scratching. When I sit in the office I enjoy scratching my neck, when I sit on the toilet I enjoy scratching my face, when I sit on the kaki lima jalan I like to scratch my legs like a hobo who shat in his pants. Scratching is the best thing to do when you're waiting for someone and they're late, it can express how angry you are when you scratch til' your skin tears and blood drips.

When people got nothing to do, they scratch.
When people don't know how to answer, they scratch.
When people see dogs scratch, they also scratch.

I wonder why people scratch......
It's one of life mysteries...

So back to V-day.
Cuz' I'm too lazy busy preparing for V-day now I will just repost last year's V-day post.
Teeheehee.

Although many people call Valentines a rip-off totally commercialize celebration created by the filthy-rich Hallmark, I still think there has to be some special meaning in this day for many. It need not be an expensive dinner or rip-off 'valentines special rings'. It can be a burnt self-made dinner and a pretty (cheapskate) broomstick.

Not the Harry Potter one. Whatever Nimbus-3000.
Not the Sabrina teenage witch one also la.
But I thought the last episode she was using a vacuum cleaner instead of a broomstick already.

Jess is hopeless lar 20 years old still watching Sabrina the teenage witch...

The 'burnt dinner & broomstick' are one of the few stories featured in R.AGE V-Day's issue. But mind you, all of those mentioned above are gift options for GIRLS ONLY.

If you are a girl, you give him a broom, he will laugh and say thanks.
If you are a girl, you wanted to make him a nice meal but burnt the house down instead, he will laugh forcefully and say tak apa lah..

BUT

If you are a guy, and you give her a bloody cheapskate broom, she will friggin' whack the crap out of you with the friggin' broom.
If you are a guy, and you burnt her house down in the process of making her a romantic dinner,

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J : "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?".

R : "Oh thy fair Juliet, thy have torched down our cottage. We now have nothing but clothes on our back."

J : "Oh thou foolish man! What do thou think thou art doing trying to cook?"

R : "My fair Juliet, a nice dinner was what thy want to give thou for Valentines."

J : "BRAINLESS COW! GO TO HELL!"

And Romeo never saw Juliet ever again. Romeo spent the rest of his life begging on the street while Juliet married another fat, bald and rich man who have gourmet chefs to cook her valentines dinner.

Happy Valentines' Day!

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