Thursday, November 27, 2008

Jess is Searching For Her Childhood Dreams

Yes I'm boring like that.
Go read "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch.

So that day I was thinking *cue serious Jess* possibly so many of us never really realize our dreams is because we never really have any to start with. We might watch some Disney "Chase your Dreams" movie and have that brief 1 minute thinking "hmmm...that sounds like a great idea, how nice if I can achieve that" but that's it! We don't think beyond that and sometimes we allow so much of those dramas and movies we watch to voice out for us (think for us) on how we should live our lives; make us do more of what they want us to do (watch the sequel).

Walt Disney said "If you can dream it, you can do it." I grew up watching those Disney movies and still am watching them now because they always give such a great message - YOU CAN DO IT! It always make me so happy, "ahhh.... I can do whatever I want!" But I think I never really define that 'whatever'; I was too busy singing along with SClub7 and watching Lizzie McGuire solve her social crisis.

Crap this post is so boring let me cheer you up with a joke. *google best joke*

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

This one is actually the best one in UK.

Anyways this has been short, anti-climax but nonetheless sweet.
Imma go figure out my dreams now. Bai.

Monday, November 24, 2008

This Is Fiction


Once upon a time there was a girl name PigCousinCarol, she enrolled into Seafield in year 2006 hoping to realized her dreams of becoming a doctor. Fast forward time to 2008, she DID get to realized her dreams of becoming a doctor, in Bangalore, India, plus she got a bonus!

The bonus is a boyfriend/girlfriend who takes shape in this 'thing'!

"I love coconuts"

They have this very complicated relationship where they have broken up and got back together so many times we stopped caring. But anyhow, before Carol left for India, she told Benbi,

"I like your hair like that."

I really how to describe this 'THING' he called a hairstyle.
Hence, I shall attempt to show it in a picture.

I would definitely say his hair was inspired from Ho-ma's hairstyle. Although Sa-yee is annoying, her hair is still more man-ly and stylish compared to Benbi's.

Anyways, ignoring our advice, Benbi has been keeping that fugly hairstyle ever since. Any blind man can tell that the hair is disasterous and makes him (oh, sorry it's her) looks like a transvestite.

Benbi tries hard to be a girl in order to match the manliness of Carol, but the truth is he succeeded with little effort.

We think that Carol is so sneaky because she doesn't want Benbi to be able to score another girlfriend here with that auntie hairstyle. Even though her hidden motives are very obvious, Benbi continue to think his hair is HOT.

Fortunately, the BenRols have such great friends like us. Carol, we have officially accepted Ben into our OTK gang because we, too, realize deep down he IS a girl. Last weekend, we tricked Benbi into entering a salon by telling him there are alot of hot guys inside.

Sorry Carol we broke your girlfriend...

In the end, we quietly regret our decision because now his fugly face is even more apparant. If we got a chance to choose between fugly hair and fugly face, of course it would be fugly hair, sadly, we made the wrong choice.

Carol, now we agree with you.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Jess Reunited with Shiny!

Shiny has gotten (even) more scandalous.
Sorry lar, lately I don't have much to blog about;
Prada didn't wanna rehire me to work this holiday.

Can you spot Shiny?
Yup, the ugliest one besides that 'thing' whose head is bleeding.

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiip bleeding, kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip bleeding...

And yesh! Bleeding boy is indeed Philip - physics class living thing #1 who asked whether feeling tipsy was permanent then started singing Celine Dion during the last Langkawi trip and is also currently being rejected by Shiny. Philip kept proclaiming his affection for Shiny while Shiny kept proclaiming that Philip is gay.

Philip kept begging but Shiny remains an Ice Queen.

I don't really know what happened here but my guess is the botox in Shiny's face prevented her from frowning.

But you know, Piggo,
Philip actually looks good in that last picture, maybe you SHOULD consider him.

And Philip,
how come your hair doesn't look like that in real life? I'm starting to doubt the genuineness of this picture (except for the hearts of course), don't give up! Shiny is very cold on the outside but warm and HOT on the inside! Excuse me, now I gotta go gargle with dettol for saying that.

Shiny Beh.
That's Philip's surname right?

I wanna be your children's kai ma!

So I finally got to meet up with Shiny since August, this is the longest time we're apart yet none has changed - She still thinks I'm in love with her since we were 7.

*in the car driving*

Me : *keep sounding the honk because we're in taipan on a weekend*

Shiny : Eh! Stop honking! You think we're getting married is it?!

Me : *WTF*

Reunion with old friends is always a funny thing. People would meet back at the same nostalgic place, sit in the same old spot, and start cracking the same jokes thus releasing the same annoying laughter. Besides the fact that everybody has gotten fatter from Uni (God knows what they feed my friends), we all still seem like the same idiots who can talk endlessly.

For the finale of this boring post check out what 6 months of Uni in Penang did to Loi the forehead!




0 cm


Indeed, this is Shiny's new best friend too.
She agreed to be Shiny's best friend if she is allowed to grab her boobs from time to time.
Desperately, Shiny agreed.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

New Weirdo Best Friend - Sook Yuin

One day I saw her online when we have our finals in a few days time,
so (being the awesome friend I am) I told her to go offline.

She said, wait til' 11pm.

So I decided to leave this weirdo alone.

About 1055pm, she nudged me,

I replied bluntly "Cinderella only goes at midnight dumbo SookYuin"

Then she screamed (on msn also can scream)

She is weird and lame like that.

That is Yuinderella on the right.
The only girl who is not smiling, looking seriously weird.

The face looks kinda dark too with fading eyebrows.

Well that was all before she met Jess the Great!

Now she looks like this!
Upon knowing JessLoke the Greatest Girl on Earth!

Now who else wanna be my friend huh?

And because Jess doesn't only emphasize on physical transformation,
she has also became a whole lot noisier (bordering on noise polution) and also laughs psychotically (and also think of the lamest things like Yuinderella) .

I assure you it IS a good thing.

Poor kid...

Well, besides laughing and being crazy she also teaches ballet a.k.a. 'torturing kiddies by prying their legs open to do splits in a very cruel way'. She is passionately in love with ballet and I really don't know why because she always complain about muscle aches the following day.

That black 'thing' is suppose to be her I guess...

So this is her 18th birthday - November 18th - if you're interested, yes she is still single and is scouting for hot and rich guys. So if you think you're indeed hot and rich, go ahead and email - (DumbYuin I'm doing this advertisement for free, so kind of me)

Jess being DumbYuin's model

During her free time, besides ballet, she enjoys dressing people up. Usually making people look uglier than they actually are to boost her own self-esteem. So Jess the Great is definitely much hotter than as shown.

But I gotta say, though I've only known her for 2 months now, we have this chinese saying - "yi jian ru gu" meaning you feel like you've known each other forever. I'm so happy I'm able to click with someone this well because now I can replace the void that is Shiny (at least partially).

Eh Shiny what d'ya think of my awesome new best friend?

She has been nothing but this amazingly sweet friend who shamelessly thinks she is way hotter and prettier than me plus always a great company to have. If you have a chance definitely come have lunch with her (she eats all the time). She will be one of the most adorable person you'll ever meet in life, I promise.

"Wahh she's like the perfect package! She's so kind, pretty, smart and drives!" - SuTing

And even a girl -SuTing- thinks so.

She forced me to put this one up.

So I asked her,
What is your birthday wish for the year?

Lemme guess,

A hot & rich boyfriend?
Being able to dance ballet everyday?
Good health for your family?
More money to spend?

Or the typical answer - "Birthday wish where can tell one?!"

Then she answered with a snicker -

I only want 2 things,

Smaller eye bags and smaller boobs.

That part of the story we shall continue next time.

Happy Birthday Yuinderella!

Monday, November 17, 2008

My Love

Does something still retain its "status" as your love if you can't get through the day without it?
Like some people I get a running nose and sneeze continuously in the morning, and it'd be 'cured' with my morning cup of coffee.
Nowadays though I can't get through the morning without mucus pouring out of my nose unless I drug myself, caffeine-ly.

So I'm thinking,
does something remains your love if it has turned into an addiction?

Eh don't worry lar.
I'm not THAT addicted.

Please don't send me to rehab.
I'm too young to ruin my life by becoming Amy Winehouse.

Which kinda reminds me this coke-snorting Grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine -

Coke-Snorting Grandpa:
Let me tell ya, don't do that stuff. When you're young, you're crazy to do that shit.

Well what about you?

Coke-Snorting Grandpa:
What about me? I'm old. When you're old, you're crazy not to do it!

this post is starting to creep me out because I titled it 'My Love' and start talking about Coke-Snorting Grandpas.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me,
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb,
in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead.

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming,
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun,
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see,
So what's wrong with taking the back street?
You'll never know if you don't go,
You'll never shine if you don't glow!

Remember this one?
The good ol' days of the 90s when AYER wasn't a word.

Too tired to blog again.
Sleepy at 1 in the afternoon.
Shall take another dose of those coffee thingy.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Jess is Trying to Make Sense of Classics

Shakespeare. The Bronte Sisters. Oscar Wilde.

Are intelligent people suppose to know and readily quote all these classics?
I think I don't wanna be intelligent then.

Maybe I'm too lazy and stupid but I just find it so hard to plow through all those thick meaningful words and sophisticated language.

"Mr. Lockwood, your new tenant, sir. I do myself the honour of calling as soon as possible after my arrival, to express the hope that I have not inconvenienced you by my perseverance in soliciting the occupation of Thrushcross Grange...........zzzzzzzzzzzzz.................."

It's like you know that very bitter herbal tea is gonna be good for you, but you just DON'T WANNA DRINK IT CUZ IT'S SO YUCKY YUCK YUCK YUCKKKKK.

I figured this blog is lacking in pictures so I'd entertain you with mine...

I always get a headache when I'm in the middle of some discussion about some philosophy that is suppose to lead us towards the great meaning of life. The discussion always end with 2 different sides arguing whether the chicken or the egg came first. If I were Homer Simpson I wouldn't mind because my head would be thinking of donuts but I'm like Spongebob; sucking in everything til' I'm on the verge of exploding into pieces.


If you are free on the 17th of November 8-10pm, CALL ME!
This awesome, awesome, awesome (I said awesome 3 times because it is THAT awesome) band - C3 - is playing live in City Harvest for one night only!

I promise you'll have an awesome time!
If not the band then having Jess the Great in your company!
If you stay in Subang I'll drive you there myself and buy you ice cream!

Now...back to my quest of intelligence...
O Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Missing Shiny

This is the first time we've been apart for so long!
This is the first time we're taking different exams!
This is the first time she's more technology-savvy than me!

Shiny has always been a noob. A really serious one (almost needing hospital help) when it comes to computer matters. She'd call me all the time about some stupid problem on her computer.

"LingSinggg! Got an error message flashing! How?!?"

"Jesseecaa! My sims is not working! What is a crack file?"

"Piggy! Suddenly got naked ladies pop out while using the internet!"

That's how long Shiny & I have known each other, until she changes the way of calling me 3 times (definitely more than that but please spare me) already.

But now, she's having computer-programming exams, what encode matrix lar... I can't conceive the idea of her being better than me in like geeky computer stuff. I can't conceive the idea that one day she will be rich working for google while I'd be poor producing my indie music and budget films.

Or perhaps looking at the world financial crisis right now, we'd both be poor; busking at Petaling Street, fighting about what to sing - WangLeeHom or BritneySpears or somestupidtaiwandramaomgomgomg...

Last year she sent me some stupid birthday greeting -

"Hey piggy! Happy birthday o! Thanks for being my best buddy another year. I wonder 10 years later will i send this same msg to you? haha :) "

So I replied -

"Thanks piggo. We have been friends since 7 so stupid don't even know how to do simple multiplication math til' now 19 doing some stupid cos sin tan math. Of course we'll stay friends even 50 years later! I'd be greeting you happy 69th birthday don't eat so much of that birthday cake because you don't want your last tooth left to fall out as well."

Eh Shiny you still saving that message or not?
I can't remember verbatim what I sent you.
Remember to keep that message with you forever okay.

On Christmas she would wish me although I've not given her a present for 14 years -

"Piggy! Merry Christmas! muaxx. oops. dont really want to give you a kiss but accidentally typed it. haha."

And she would refrain herself from expressing hatred towards me -

"Not funny. Not funny. I don't like you. Oh no. Cant say like that. Later I'll get stuck with you. Erm. I like you. Yuck."

When I'm down she would TRY to cheer me up by stating how much she love me -

"Haha. Haha. A little only wert... Why? You feel that I treat you very TERRIBLE? Me just don't like to show out how much I care for you. In my heart, you're my best buddy! *bangs head on wall* + *choke* + *hang myself*"

Shiny is like one of the most retarded person I've ever met in my life (and she would reply by saying the same) I wonder next time if our kids will grow up and become best friends too! wtf think too much or reading too many Jodi Picoult books. Bottom line is this post is dedicated to show how much Shiny means to me although we're not seeing each other everyday now for the first time in 14 years.

I actually have no idea on what to post but I manage to fill the post with you piggo!
I love you forever!
*bangs head on wall til' bleeding violently* *choke on own vomit* *hangs self with own hair*

Oh ya this stupid purple is your favorite color. Yucks.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Jess Can't Stop Being Happy (:

Being happy is a funny thing,
at least for me,
sometimes when I'm too happy,
I tend to worry about having to be unhappy later and that it's gonna suck.
So, I become less extremely happy and just be normal happy,
that way I wouldn't worry so much about unhappiness.

Ya, Jess is weird like that.

So anyways, I don't usually reply tags but since it's my dearest Trace the non-frizz, I gotta do it since she's the nicest girl in the whole-wide-world. Or maybe she just seems like the nicest girl in the whole-wide-world standing beside Shiny.

It's basically just answering a whole lot of personal questions so the whole internet world can scrutinize your preferences and also more information for online-stalkers. You know, the ones who has a crush on someone then google their crushes' names hoping to find any stalker-ish information possible, don't lie you know it very well...

1. 3 names you go by -
a. Loke
b. Piggy
c. HotChick

2. 3 screen names you had -
a. Jess
b. HotChick
c. Sexyboobs316?

3. 3 physical things you like about yourself -
a. HotHair
b. HotLips
c. HotLegs

I just realized the fact that I make me sound like a hotdog.

4. 3 physical things you don't like about yourself -

Because I'm so kind and possess a great deal of positive thinking I decide to change the question.

4. 3 non-physical things you like about yourself -
a. my snow-white-like compassion
b. my snow-white's-stepmother-like evil genius-ness
c. my snow-white's-prince-like charming-ness

5. 3 parts of your heritage -
a. Cina-ness from China
b. Korean-like eyes
c. Mojo always say that our great grandmother is half Thai so that makes us 1/32 Thai

6. 3 things that scares you -

*scoff* Like I'm gonna announce it to the world...

7. 3 of your daily essentials -
a. my GOD
b. my blue-square-checked pillow
c. my ability to self-create happiness

8. 3 things you are wearing now -
a. glasses
b. fake hair
c. a smile!

*sings* You're never fully-dressed without a smile!
Crap this tag is making me crazy and you bored til' wannabe crazy.

9. 3 of your favorite bands or musical art -
a. One Tree Hill music and art
b. Jesus please send me Diana Krall
c. Jesus of course I love your songs too - Hillsong, C3, True Worshippers
d. Weirdly-haunting music like The Bird & The Bee, The Postal Service
e. Britney Spears' comeback
f. Acoustic elevator-like sassy music - Rita Lee, Bossa n' Marley
g. Broadway of any kind - Jesus please send me tickets for Mamma Mia as well

10. 3 of your favorite songs right now -
a. But God - C3
b. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
c. FUN - Spongebob

F is for friends who do stuff together
U in for you and me!
N is anyone and anywhere at all!

But I like SquidWood's version better!

F is for fire that burns down the whole town
U is for Uranium....BOMB
N is for no survivor!

11. 3 things you want in a relationship -
a. FUN
b. Love for Jesus!
c. Independence!

12. 3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you

Why is this tag so superficial...

12. 3 qualities that appeals to JesstheGreat
a. Passionate about something
b. Natural honesty inside out (wtf what does this means)
c. Love for Britney Spears Jesus Christ

13. 3 of your [inserts 'unique' this tag is just too boring] hobbies -
a. Dancing like Britney Spears....womanizer oh womanizer oh oh
b. Driving my Wira with the windows down pretending it's a Maserati convertible
c. Watching the Arabian channel on Astro and making up conversations for them

14. 3 things you really wanna do right now -
a. Stop doing this tag
b. Stop doing this tag
c. Stop doing this tag

15. 3 career you're considering/considered before -
a. Policewoman (5 years old)
b. Farmer (7 years old)
c. Scientist (12 years old)

20 years old - No idea.

16. 3 places you want to go on vacation -
a. All over Italy
b. Budapest
c. Bali - to see this old man who predicted Elizabeth Gilbert's future

17. 3 things you want to do before you die -
a. what do mean by THREE?!
b. i've got like a million things to do!!!
c. in the end, spent my life talking about all of that and done none.

So the ONE thing I wanna do is to not do that!

I would like to tag -
a. Britney Spears
b. Oprah Winfrey
c. The Adam's family

Time to go be happy again!
Have a great post-exam celebration, enjoy the first few days of your holiday and whine about the boring-ness of the rest guys!!!