Monday, December 29, 2008

Back To Life

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all away....

When I was young, my parents had me and my siblings watch titanic together with them. Having read what was bound to happen (iceberg meets Titanic), I was praying so, so, so, hard that it wouldn't be the same in the movie.

My palms were sweaty, my eyelids were flickering and my heart was SCREAMING "YOU DUMB ICEBERG WATCHER MAN, STOP WATCHING KATE & LEO FROLICKING AROUND! ICEBERG COMING AND YOU ARE GONNA DIE A HORROR DEATH BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF ROMANTIC COMEDIES!!!!"

And of course, Titanic still sunk and broke my heart.
So I would play it again, and again, and again, each time wishing for something different to happen.

MAYBE IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE SEX (IN THAT HOT STEAMY CAR) TITANIC WOULDN'T HAVE SUNK!
MAYBE IF THEY WEREN'T LAUGHING SO LOUD!
MAYBE IF IT WAS A DIFFERENT MAN ON WATCH!

Then after give or take a week I would give up and move onto other movies in my parents collection like Scream, praying hard that the scary mask dude suddenly finds Jesus and stop killing all those hormone-raging, boozy teenagers.

My childhood innocent hopes has been crushed by horror movies like that...

It was not until I had nightmares after watching a National Geographic documentary on snakes - screaming SNAKES EVERYWHERE! SNAKES EVERYWHERE! 3am in the toilet - that my parents decided to ban watching horror movies at home. And yes, Titanic is included on that list.

Right now I really want to watch Revolutionary Road but am afraid of those Titanic feelings as Celine Dion put it "It's all coming back, all coming back, coming back to me!"

And if you really are too free and want to waste away this last few days of your holidays, go read this - To The Girl of the Same Name by JessieLoi.

Happy Merry New Year People =)

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Jess Gotta Start Living in The Moment

It's a weird sensation really.
Like a spell.
When you starting thinking,
you can't stop.
You keep ruminating,
your mind wander endlessly.
You know very well you are only going in circles,
but you it continues because you can't find the way out.


I laughed! I laughed til' I cried!
I can't quite remember the last time it happened but I guess it has to be on a stupid story about Tracey or Amelia. Only their dumbness can amuse me.

Amelia : Loke, what is tak-halal? Can we eat that?

And guess what was I doing that I laughed so hard?? Playing some old kiddish game on the PlayStation with dummy Shiny, MingSze and dumbdumb Tracey! Perhaps we can only be truly happy when we ignite the child-like happiness in each of us. That explains why children and old people are so happy (not just because they get 50% discount for everything).

I start to reminisce that 8 years ago, Shiny and I were doing the same thing (same game) and laughed just as hard til' our tummies ache then proceed to roll around on the floor. Er.... Does it means we still haven't mature a single bit since 12?

Shiny, I have an idea.
Put Trac and Amelia to play together, that's even more funny although we might have to wait til' sunset + sunrise until someone actually wins.

I noticed that my posts are getting shorter and shorter.
*pause*
Oh well.
Back to my fattening holiday plans (:

Just to humor you here is AmeliaChanJiatHee sleeping.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Jess Really Just Wanna Be Alone

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch the sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch the sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch the sunset on my own


Kate Nash - Merry Happy

Merry Happy - Kate Nash

There's something spiritual about being alone. That's when all other voices quiet down and you can finally hear your own, and some others not of this world. You start to hear things you know you have been desperately trying to bury, you start to hear things you know you need to fix, you start to wonder if you are becoming crazy uncle Larry.

And so when we can't take it anymore, we blast the music clear and loud, drowning out all the other voices, allowing them to be nothing more than an alternative note in the music. It is like when you clap aloud in a concert, you don't hear it because it is only that tiny compared to everything else around. You feel waves of emotion as depicted in that artistic brain of the melody writer. You start feeling his or her pain but not yours.

I decided when all is to no avail, all you have to do is just shut the world out, express yourself.

Shut the world out, express yourself.

Grow that little emotion, that little thought that was turned away by the world, that was dismissed as trivial.

Because it is not.

It is inside you and wants to be set free.
Grow it,
grow yourself.
Then,
set it free.

28th May 2008