Saturday, February 21, 2009

When I Asked Papa To Come Home To Do My Art...

"Sorry girl, I can't come home so soon.
You know what would help?
Go outside and observe the flowers and leaves."

Sigh...
Observing those flowers might take even longer than to wait for Papa to come home...


I'm so tired.
I'm telling myself I'm not tired but my body keeps telling me I'm tired.
Get what I mean?

*enters moral class 30 mins late as usual*

My Moral Friend (because that's the only time I see him) :
"Hey Jess, another 10 more mins she's gonna give us a quiz. 5 essay questions choose 4. Chapter 1 and 2. 10% of overall grade"

Me :
*WTF?!?!??*

*few days later*

History Lecturer :
"Today is going to be a big day, I'm going to finish chapter 10 and give you all a quiz on chapter 5 and 6. Don't worry it's just fill in the blanks and true or false questions."

Me :
*WTF AGAIN?!?!?!?!^*&#^%*#$^%@*

*few more days later*

BenG : (on the phone)
Hey Jess, wish mummy Happy Belated Birthday for me.

Me :
Huh? What birthday............ *WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*

*text Jo*

Me :
Please tell me you remembered mummy's birthday.

Jo :
):


Sorry mummy.....
We still love you very much!
At least Papa remembered!
He remembered for the first time after 10 years!


Sometimes I feel that it is so much easier to just numb yourself and go through everyday's motions. I know life is about the wonderful roller coaster of ups and downs but it is so much less tiring to just be monotonous. Gets you through Mondays much easier because Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursday will fly by, before you know it, it's TGIF.

It's about the journey, not the destination.
But sometimes, the destination is all you want and you want that right that moment.

Then perhaps if we were so numb we wouldn't get angry so easily, upset so easily; of course we wouldn't get happy either but sometimes, it doesn't seem to be worth the misery.

Crap Jess you sound so depressing...
*tries to be happy!*


But all that numbing soon leaves you to forget and forgo everything, everyone around you. You get sucked into that hole of nothingness and stopped looking back. You forget the nice, good heartaches life gave you. You forget the moment you stopped time because you were so happy and lost in the giggling scene. You forget the 'meaning of life' you stumble upon after all that anger, shame, sadness. You forget all of it contemplate diving into that black hole of nothingness.

Life is so fragile. Much too fragile.
So why do we still ponder long and tiring upon rights or wrongs,
only to find it inconclusive.

Jess needs some advice.

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