Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Betty. Breakinggggggggggggggggg News!

Please entertain Jessica and finish reading this although its ridiculous, nonsense, waste of time and one of the stupiak-est thing you'll ever read.

Hello.
My name is Betty.

I am a black color Proton Wira born in Penang.
I am 8 years old now.
Jessica bought me when I was 5 years old.

Throughout the 3 years Jessica own me, she used me to 'violate' other cars many times.
Thus, I have a lot of violation marks on my body now.

Jessica promise to save up enough money for spray paint so I can get a makeover.
Like mtv's 'Pimp My Ride' like that.
Except in Malaysia we call it 'Bapa Ayam saya punya kereta'.

I lost my hearing quite a while ago.
Because Jessica's friends always scream when they sit in her car.
Last week I lost my left ear-ring (side mirror),
because Jessica closed the door too hard because she angry about something or because she's just too manly.

Okay.
Time for Breakinggggggggggggggggggggg News today.

If you haven't read the story "Betty was violated" go read it now.

Today is Jessica's history mid terms paper day.
Although she finished studying at 10.43pm at night, she decided to played computer for few hours and only went to bed at 2.35am.

I don't know why she so dumb dumb.
I'm only as smart as my owner you see.


So as usual she reach today at 7am. Her exams starts at 8am.
Because she played computer until so late, she was sleepy so she declined the chair to almost 180 degrees and slept as usual.

SUDDENLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

SHE HEARD A LOUD THUD, CRASH, BOOM, FOLLOWED BY A SHOUT ALMOST AS LOUD "AIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Jessica's china sepet eyes pop open WIDEWIDEWIDE.

Her heart beat increased to 200beats per minute, she thought

OH SHIT NOT AGAIN

WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS THIS WHAT IS THIS

THAT'S IT MAN, THIS TIME BIG HOOPS OR SMALL HOOPS SHE'S GONNA BE BRAVE LIKE A SUMO WRESTLER.

And then she suddenly realized her car didn't shake at all like earthquake also.

She got up and look to the right,
it is indeed big hoops earring girl with her light turquoise wira.

But this time she bang into cement stairs instead.
Obviously the cement stairs no break, but her wira really break.


The story can be summarized by a picture below drawn by Jessica -Jessica's nonexistence art skills.
Don't know how is she gonna pass Art.

For a moment,
Jessica actually release a chuckle upon seeing that scene.

Damn evil right?!
She suddenly remembers CINA FROM CHINA's karma.

But after laughing for 5 seconds,

she saw that big hoops car engine cannot be started anymore and big hoops is frantically calling somebody on the phone (and also she realized that there are no cars in between her and big hoops and big hoops can see her laughing),

then Jessica stopped laughing.

Jessica actually felt bad for big hoops. She can observed that black oil is also leaking from the bottom of big hoops' car. She really wanted to offer her help but don't know what can she do. Plus in another 40 minutes she will be having her history paper.

Thus, Jessica got down from her car and went to class.

Before leaving, she also remember to take note of big hoops number plate.
She realized it is the very same day last week - TUESDAY - that big hoops bang her car.
She remembered it very clearly because she was having her Psychology mid terms paper on that day.
She also realized its approximately the same time.

In conclusion, please do not park your car anywhere nearby Burger King/ Mcdonalds on a Tuesday at around 7am because

Big hoops might strike you next.

Before going home in the afternoon, Jessica saw that big hoops car is still there.
She snapped a picture before leaving as souvenir.

4 comments:

Running with Scalpels said...

LMAO!!!

Bapa Ayam saya punya kereta'.

OMG OMG SOEMONE NEEDS TO START THIS SHOW!!! I'll watch!

Simply Jess said...

hahahahah
adult material cannot make it to malaysia tv le.
but i really like to watch pimp my ride tho!

jessieloi said...

... poor betty. i feel for you.

sorry if i was one of the ones who made you deaf. but i remembered clearly i usually don't scream cause i am usually cool, calm and collected and mutter prayers under my breath.

Simply Jess said...

jessieloi,

why you suddenly so poetic? i showed your pic to my entire class!