Friday, April 24, 2009

Surviving In A Hostel/Shared-Apartment/(anywhere outside your home la okay) 101

I would like to state that these are all Jo's ideas.

Late at night,
before she goes to bed and when I'm walking around my room deciding what time to sleep,
she will text me and tell me of her daily sufferings,
quite happily I must add.

I sometimes suspect that my IQ dropped a few points after listening to her.



"I brushed my teeth with whitening toothpaste but still yellow. I decided today onwards I brush 3 minutes. But I wear retainer that's why yellow. Sigh. I'm destined to have yellow teeth."

Joanne Loke on her disgust of her yellow teeth



Before I start, let me be emo-nostalgic and re-live my childhood memories for a while.

Today while driving I hear one of those 'recycle and save the world!' advertisement on radio again. My mind flashed back to I think when I was about 10. Me and Jo had just attended one of those 'save the environment' camps at FRIM. And they taught us how to make recycled paper there! So, being a kid and excited by anything we decided to try it the next day at home.

(We waited until mummy left) then we got a whole pile of newspaper, ripped them into many, many pieces. And I remembered the man said the paper must be ripped and soaked in water until it is like pulp right? So, Jess being the brilliant sister, took the blender from the kitchen and stuff all the old newspaper inside.

But instead of being torn into pieces,
got some burnt smell.....
Then the blender stopped making noise.....
Then we decided it's too boring and left everything in the garden and went back inside to nap.

WHEN MUMMY LOKE CAME HOME SHE NEARLY TORE US INTO PIECES INSTEAD.

And that was the last time I 'Go Green!'
hahahahaha


I'm on a mission to pick up all these childhood memories. It's kinda like they are all forgotten until something triggers it and replay them in your mind. I want to jot them down and remember them, so that one day I won't be scolding my child for using my blender to make recycle paper because he/she loves mother earth!

Anyways....

The Loke's Guide to Surviving Outside Your Home!

Number 1 -

Don't leave your things lying around.

Jo :
Because I left my wash-clothes-basin outside, dunno who take to keep all the kitchen utensils. So now I have to wash clothes on floor you know. The fork in the basin rusty already so the basin dirty already, after that I used to rear fish lor. But in the end my fish die also............T.T

Number 2 -

If you lost one of your daily necessities...

Jo:
I lost my nail clipper I think two months already but didn't buy new one. I always wait for my roommate go class then curi curi use hers. hehe. Then I make sure I fold nicely and put back same position. I so guai ma hehe

Note:
guai as in 'well behaved' in cantonese not guai as in 'weird' in mandarin

Number 3 -

When using the toilet, please be polite.

Jo:
Everytime I use the toilet I very polite because I scared got camera in the toilet. hahahaha I also hide myself after I poo very smelly in the toilet so people won't think it's me.

Number 4 -

It is okay if your roommates are lazy, comfort yourself in other ways.

Jo:
3 of my housemates moving out next semester, hopefully new housemates will be better and cleaner. Now most of them don't take out the garbage one so normally only me, fangxin and another girl do. After I take out the garbage, I always secretly do use their body wash to wash my hands to console myself. haha.

Number 5 - last one lar okay

If you are a normal human being and need to release gas once in a while but share a room with someone else.
Jo:
Whenever I need to fart right, I always check my roommates timetable. Her timetable is pasted above her bed, I always check to see whether she's still having class or not before I fart in the room. Or if I accidentally do it when she can be back anytime I will eat maggie mee to cover the smell, but then when she comes back to the room have to offer her one lor... Tell mummy buy more maggie for me please no more already.


These are very practical skills! <- Jo said one.

Happy Friday guys =D

2 comments:

damia said...

what a disgusting post! hahahah.. but i do find it funny though the survival guide part ;p

Simply Jess said...

hahahahaha the disgusting one is jo!