Sunday, August 30, 2009

She's a Loke!

From now onwards my name shall be solely known as Loke because SeeTho said she can pick up a stone, throw it simply, and it will hit at least 99999999999 Jessica's.

credits: nataliedee

These 2 quotes have been ringing in my head lately -

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Tanggal tiga puluh satu, bulan lapan lima puluh tujuh.
Merdeka, merdeka................*forgot lyrics*
Happy Merdeka people!

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Last Time I'm Seeing Dharshini (for a long, long, long time)

We had 2 large McD fries, 1 large bicarbonate drink and more ice kacang.
Hah Dhar! So much for being a doctor!
Did you realize we have that every time you're back?

Dhar reminded how fast time was passing by us; in another 6 months, she'll be back here to do her 3rd year in Penang. It felt like only yesterday Pigrol and I was at her house discussing about what to do upon getting our STPM results; then, Pigrol has this crazy idea of going to India. Dhar remembered it was March 13 2008; she left for India at the end of March itself. It felt as though it was only yesterday when we all sent Dhar off at the airport. Amelia cried as usual.

It felt though it was only last week when Dhar was making jokes with Shen Ni, Keh Len about how I always fall asleep during Pn Norhaliza's (wow, I remembered her name) class, actually not only her class lar, there is also Jega, Shanta, Saadiah (once again, wow) We actually had competitions - who falls asleep last wins - but it never worked! Shen Ni can poke me all she wants but I'll still be drooling on my textbook.

It felt as though it was last year (you get the idea) when we first entered Seafield! When we first encounter Pn Leong, make horrendous jokes about Pn Fong and laughed at Pn Joriah. I still remember Leong's moral class (nothing about the nilai), remember how Fong's face came 1 inch away from ours on the first day of school asking if we need math tuition - dong make noise ah! if not i jot tow your name - and of course all of Joriah's jewelry, Grace calls her the walking jewelry shop.

How can I forget when Sukhdave, Hon Ming, Wai Yuen, Ong Loong always gather together just to discuss this (besides reading horoscopes - the hobbies of the nerds)! I can still do a pretty mean immitation of Fong, Leong, Joriah, and Cheong Ah Chan! But before we left school, all 4 of them had, both Fong and Leong retired, no news of Cheong Ah Chan after she migrated to the states while the one we laughed at all the time is a Pengetua somewhere.

In another year, it'll be Engineer Sukhdave and Ong Loong, Accountant Pei Chin and Pei Ting, in addition to designer Wai Yuen; another 3 years - Dr. Hon Ming and Dharshini and Pigrol. We used to have discussions on where we see ourselves in 5 or 10 years; now that it is all happenning, it felt as if it was only yesterday that we were young and stupid, laughing at BBA 7278.

Dhar, we've been through PMR, SPM, STPM together and I've seen how you blossomed into the beautiful person you are now, both inside and out. You look so much like a doctor now I'm serious! Through those 7 years you have continuously care and support me whether it was in my academics or other issues. I can never forget our choral speaking days, how we tried to solve unsolvable math questions, and of course Thaya. Yesterday while dropping you off, yeah, it reminded me the times I drop you off after Mrs Gooi or Ms Elizabeth classes. And to think that this would be the last time I'm dropping you off......................

Anyways, my dear Dhar, have a safe journey back to Salem the land of no McD (Oh no!). No matter whether you're in India or Penang or I'm in US I'll never forget you. Don't forget to invite me for your wedding through facebook! Til' then, enjoy staring at people's teeth!

Thursday, August 27, 2009


a: The state or an instance of being frustrated.
b: A deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfiled needs.

Still. You know me best.
To be radical and real. I wonder what does that means.

This picture, posted on Shiny's blog is an evidence that she's jealous of my beauty.

After not seeing Shiny for close to 2 months (record-breaking)

Me: *big wide grin* Have you forgot how I look like?

Shiny: Please lar, 15 years already, I'll never forget your face.

Shiny: Sadly.

It's Thursday! Thursday night! And, I haven't even come close to finishing my applications! I feel so uptight and restless not knowing where I'm heading to at this moment. All along I've seen myself in Mount Holyoke College, where I'll eventually graduate in 2011 (let's be optimistic) and join the ranks of great women like Emily Dickinson. If not MHC, it would be me wearing a jacket which spells Y.A.L.E. (sigh, gossip girl ruined my life - new season out on Sept 14!)

But now! But now! But now!

Now all I see is a pile of recommendation letters to be completed, favors to be asked, tedious forms to be filled, bulldog's face...... And I know I shouldn't be anxious, shouldn't be all so stressed up, and that I should just put my trust in Him.


I'm feeling so frustrated now that I'm speaking in BM which I got B3 in; at that time I felt it was the end of the world (sigh, 17 young and stupid). All of us were, I remember Sukhdave wanted to order the "Sad lunch" Get it?? Get it??

AHHHHHHHHHHH Oh no! Sukhdave! Dharshini! Siu Ni! SJ! Ken! MARIAAAAAAAAA! All these people whom I said I'll meet up with this holiday. And it's Thursday night! Tomorrow it'll be Friday then it'll be the weekend, then HERE WE GO AGAIN - wake up 6am, traffic jams, stupiak parkings, sleep in car, forget to bath, sleepless assignment deadlines....

My mind is so clouded with all these thoughts! Above all these, I'm missing my best friend who used to get me organized, drag me out of bed when I don't feel like doing anything and makes me smile silly.

*Dharshini text to meet up*
at least one thing off my list.

Happy last few days of holiday me =((((((((((((((

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Alexis See Tho Wai Kuan

I didn't have the privilege (fuiyoh, stop smilling woman) of knowing Alexis See Tho Wai Kuan until the first time I ask her out for dinner on a very random note on June 3rd 2009. Before that I've been wanting to know that tall girl who strides in and out of CAE (Centre of American Education) looking all so capable, responsible and mature; I wanted to know her even more when I stumble upon her blog knowing that she's majoring in journalism and on fire for God.

Being short (5' 3' stop saying I'm only 5'2'!), having a common face and a low profile in the CAE, my chance of knowing her was little to none. Seriously, I think she only sees the top of people's heads when she walks. And then! JENG JENG JENG! My chance came when Shaza was talking about her and said she would introduce me to her; this subsequently led to the most awkward introductory meeting I've ever been.

Ya, I've repeated it a million times but I can't get over how dumb it was!
You may go to sleep now Wai Kuan.

She was in the middle of a meeting with her Ed-Board members (omigosh she was like the Editor-In-Chief for Inti's newsletter!!! Ya actually I didn't know we have a newsletter before I know her) and they were all standing in a circle in the CAE, this Shaza just grabbed my hands and dragged me into the middle of the circle and introduced me, loudly proclaiming, "Oh! Alexis here is Jessica! She's been wanting to know you for a long time!"

Oh noes man!
First impression was totally gone.

Of course nothing happened after that awkward meeting; life is not a fairy tale okay ladies and gentlemen.

But when the new semester started in May,
guess who was in my Econs class???? *wink wink*
Guess who sat beside me???? *wink wink wink*
Guess who was in my assignment group??? *wink wink x9999999999999*

When we started talking, I realized we share so much in common that it's creepy! We both love music, both enjoy cooking (though she thinks my cooking sucks), read the same books, both crazily spontaneous, both hungry for Truth.... The list goes on, and the worst thing that we have in common is that both of us have a pile of clothes in our room (some clean, some worn) that we squat beside and sniff out piece by piece every morning deciding what to wear.

We are like twins; on the inside that is.
The only difference was that she was tall and I am short!
I'm prettier and she's...............!

What happened from that dinner onwards was history -

The day where we attended 2 church services and Beau Bristow showcase, aka the super-holy day, the very same week we just knew each other! I won that CD through a lucky draw! I've rarely won stuff at lucky draws like that!!!

The following week when I cluelessly agreed to go for the Ed-Board Camp in Genting then nearly died of exhaustion during the Amazing Race you planned which purposely hindered me and Jon from winning! Oh ya! WHERE ARE THE PRIZES?!?!? Jon is already in the states so I don't mind having his share as well.

The many times we ate at Salmon Steak; where you have never fail to order the same food and sit in the same position.

The social circles we share when we cross-paths - KC the one pretending to be hardworking while you looked on with a very bored stare.

Jon Yam, one of the nicest guys I've ever met. The one who made me run for 2 hours plus in Genting, yes I'll never forget you!

Mojo, who now calls you half a sister. She says you're way cooler than me. She checks your facebook more often than I do, seriously.

"Moses" and your brother, also your very friendly mum, still can't believe you invited me to your brother's family birthday celebration when we've known each other for only 2 weeks! Moses is going to take your place now during my visits to Cheras.

Last but not least, Auntie Dino, the big well of knowledge and wisdom we continue to 'leech' from.

Besides you, I'll miss driving around Jazzy the most.

And your amazement of the skies while I drive Jazzy. Nowadays when I drive Betty, I too start noticing the clouds and the blue skies.

The many times we went out with Jo for sushi and watched her getting stuff stuck between her teeth.

And of course, of course the many hours upon hours we studied! Here you see me falling asleep; that actually happens alot. But in order to encourage you to perservere, I actually pretended not to be sleepy! What torture!

The amount of good food we had! Oh no! The pan mee, the loh shu fun in Murni, the endless flow of cendols, the banana leaf rice in Bangsar! The list is endless! So is the growth of our waistline man!

And I give you, Jessica the rockstar!
I've always wanted a picture of me with a guitar =)

Our very, very spontaneous trip to PD, Malacca and then Muar =)

So many more mental snapshots and memories! We did so much together that I felt we've been friends from a span of years, not just 3 months.

You have never cease to care for me like a mother - I will never have another friend who is willing to come to my house and cook me meals, and even study with me when her exams are over, who drives me all the way to MidValley just to have ice cream when I said I needed a break and leaves little notes of encouragement between my notes, whose idea of waking me up 3am to study is to drive all the way to my house, use the keys which I left in your car, in order to literally pull me out of my sweet slumber.

But most importantly, you have taught me much about myself and our walk with Him. I agree that nothing come by chance and all that had happened was in His plans and that they all serve as a bigger purpose in both our lives.

I'm at a lost with words here =/

I was out of touch with God when I first met you; He was only there if I can fit Him in my schedule, and I was just lost in the world and all its business. Then, God put you into my life - the mysterious tall girl whom I've always wanted to meet, who eventually became one of the dearest friend I've ever had. Your heart for God was so intriguing for me: we share the same interests, same beliefs, yet, where was my love for Him?

Hours before you left, you said, "God has bigger plans for you than a 4.0"
It hit me hard, I'll never forget.

So much more I want to write but so lost for words here.
Will continue more personally in your letter okie.

Right now, as this chapter with you in my life closes, I'm blessed with a new heart and new hunger to comprehend the depth, the width, the length and the height of His love. You played a vital role in all that. Through difficult times, you have never stopped being my friend; I can't be grateful enough for that. I only hope that I have that I have been a true friend in return.

He sees all that you have done Kuannie, He sees.

As you start a new life in the states, I believe with all my heart that God will start a new chapter better than the last, beyond our expectations.

For Alexis, defender of mankind,

From the rockstar happily having her pan mee =)
nyek nyek nyek

1 Week Of Holidays Left!

Oh gosh!
I didn't even notice the holidays beginning; now it's already time to collect my results.

Every time when Jo is back, there is always something soaking in the bucket in the toilet.

#1 - Oh, it's her comb.
#2 - Oh, yuck, it's her retainer.
#3 - Oh, what the, it's her bra straps.

Last week, I attended Inti Christian Fellowship's camp in Golden Sands, Port Dickson. And I've learn - CAMP FOOD CAN BE GOOD. Seriously, I think the ladies there are so overflowing with God's grace that it pours into the food!

I never wanted to attend the camp. First of all it was 4 days long! (4 days without facebook?!) Secondly, it was the day after I sent Alexis off. I only got home close to 1am after seeing her off. Her first flight was to Singapore, before I reached home, I received a text saying she has arrived in Singapore. Thirdly, I really needed some ACTUAL holiday time to rest and to complete my university applications.

People: Hey when are you leaving?

Me: Err... December?

People: This December?

Me: Err.. Yes.

People: Where are you heading to?

Me: Err.... Not sure.

People: Roughly?

Me: Err... Not sure.

People: Have you applied?

Me: Err... In the process......

People: Have you even taken TOEFL?

Me: Err..... Taking soon!

Last but not least, Mr. Jon Yam was leaving for the states on Wednesday and I couldn't send him off because it was Why Love camp day 2 T.T Jon I'm pretty sure you are reading this, have a great weekend unpacking and prepare for school on Monday! I can't believe you choose to arrive the day before your orientation! What is this man?! I would have kicked your arse all the way to Buffalo if I knew!

I conjured up so many more excuses not to go; so I asked God, if you really want me to go, give me one clear sign. (After that, every time they promote the camp Alexis said it was a sign -_-) And though I was the demanding little girl I was, God gave me a sign - He appointed me as a group leader.

This was in addition to because both Alexis and Auntie Dino cant stop nagging at me to go. (Ya, thanks Kuannie) And also because I couldn't walk peacefully to the toilet without the CF people telling me to sign up! (Their booth was right next to the toilet) Sometimes I purposely take the lift up to use the library's toilet instead.

Sigh. Can't escape lar.

But. In the end, I've been greatly blessed in camp. God has been ever present especially during the first day when I just couldn't focus on anything at hand wknowing my best friend is flying further and further away. I have learn to just lean upon Him during troubled times and allow Him to take care of it. And ya, thanks Amelia for comforting me on the phone when you got tons of assignment at hand =)

I was also greatly blessed with the company of this bunch of crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee people in camp! I see the light and joy that God shine into their lives; thanks so much for making this camp AWESOMEEEEEE!

Erica truly deserved the Psycho Award she won!

This group belongs to Erica.

We look like we're dancing but we're actually wrestling with our butts.

Our group - the 'Cool-Cool' Group
No further comments please.

There are just so many pictures of Psycho Erica.
I really just can't stop laughing in her company!

The other sakai's - Swee Ling, Jamie & Christine

All in all, the glory, the praises goes to you Father Lord.
Help me continue to run this race as Your child Father.
And help me complete Your will on earth as it is in Heaven.

Now heaven, be open
Our God is, unshaken
We worship, Christ risen
High above

Now heaven, be open
All kingdoms, all nations
Declare that “You are God”

Samson has been diagnosed with H1N1; please pray for him and his family and also take necessary precaution, drink lots of water, take your vitamins and try not to go out this coming week (though ya it's the last week of your holidays). If you note any of the symptoms please go to the doctor immediately.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

There Are Better Things Ahead, Than Any We Leave Behind

It's the saddest thing knowing it's the last time I'm going to hear your loud guffaw, knowing it's the last time our lives are going to cross path this closely. It is difficult for me yet I know it is going to be so much more difficult for you in a foreign land.

I pray that the Lord will send out all His angels to keep you safe; that regardless of everything around you, you will remain strong in mind, body and heart. I pray all that you do continue to find favor in His eyes and that you may continue to complete His will as you have done thus far. I pray that you'll find peace in Him as you start this new chapter of your life; that when the thought that you are in Nebraska finally sinks in, His presence will be with you.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

So, have a safe journey my dear friend, as I quote Jon Yam - "Stay awesome!"

ps -
I'll be going away for camp until Friday, so guys, if I don't reply it's not because I'm drunk okay (Ya, that is directed to JC) Happy holiday guys! Have a great one!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Last Long Semester (hopefully)

This semester felt like a year.

When my final paper ended at 10.05am August 10th 2009, I've never felt lighter, happier and more relieved since May when the semester started. I've never packed more in one semester and I've never felt more satisfied - the feeling that every moment of your days are filled with things you'd said you would do.

Finishing up that last chapter of US history, typing that last paragraph of PSY200 experiment report after 4 nights of falling asleep at the dining table, finally registering for TOEFL after delaying it for 6months. Then, occasionally deviating from all the buzz; driving to mid valley just to have ice cream and read in Borders or eating naan beside lakeview at 8pm (feeding the mosquitoes at the same time).

By the time the last day came, I'm so numb and lost in that constant motion I can barely acknowledge that my semester has ended. Before I know it, finals are done and history. The results will be out in another 2 weeks then here comes a new semester!

Sometimes life just keeps hitting you with one thing after another and you just gotta stand strong and step up to the occasion.

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to You
But I don't know how.

However, no matter what, You are the rock on which I stand.

anticlimax, no ending la this post. Emoe okay. Go play and be nice.