Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My First Encounter

I have not bath in more than 24 hours (again).
I have not slept for more than 2 hours for 4 days.
I have not rest for more than an hour for more than a week.

But I've completed my philosophy mid-terms and 2 university applications! Woohoo!

It was 6pm. My body has been running on its forth cup of coffee and I have not stop to rest since 2am. I don't like to use the word tired, but I really am tired after not having sleep, not much food; only running on coffee and constant prayers. My final task for the day was a tutoring session then I can happily return and have another cup of coffee and perhaps facebook a little (yay! no life!) then go back to microeconomics.

But while I was in the library discussion room (diligently explaining psychology), KahHo (not my tutee, just a random sakai) suddenly interrupted and said, "Jessica, did you felt that?" I was TIRED, and was gonna smack him if he was pulling another joke on me. Just when I was gonna say something very stupid in return, I FELT IT. The floor was shaking! But my lagging brain was thinking, "Errr... are they trying to test the strength of the building or something....wah something very strong must be pushing the building...."

All four of us suddenly paused as if we were meditating or something. Then he pointed at a picture hanging on the wall and said, "Look, its shaking." We continued to stare at the vibrating picture and froze there. (I think our brains was seriously malfunctioning at 6pm) Until 5 seconds later, finally one of us said, "Err...should we leave now?"

Of course when we scramble out of the discussion room, there was already a crowd at the library entrance. There was panic in the air but a very silent panic. Instantly, I remembered something similar happening 2 years ago or so in KL reported in the news, I guess its nothing big yet my instinct still directed me to get out of the building as quick as possible.

As I watched everybody, who gathered at the parking lot, enthusiastically sharing their own experience; I was thinking at the same time not very far away many are either breathing their last breathes or trapped wondering if they were gonna survive.

Me: Oh no, my books are still up there.

JieYee: At least its only your books, my HOUSE is up there!
(her dorm room is on the 10th floor)

I can't help remembering what Ms. Khor said in psych class that we can be discussing famines or people dying nonchalantly while chomping down on our McDs. While having the thoughts that people are dying, my brain is also thinking this is a waste of time, I need to get back to work! There can be earthquakes or tsunamis or hurricanes but reality tells me microeconomics mid-terms will still be on tomorrow. This will be on the news tonight and we'll all wake up to another day; the people in the Samoan island (Tuesday) woke up to a nightmare of dead kins and flattened houses but its okay, we'll donate 10ringgit to charity, act like we've done our bit of contribution and feel good about ourselves.

No doubt after finishing this post I'll go back to my microeconomics. I'll return to another busy day tomorrow, proceed to read on newspaper about the 8.0 magnitude earthquake with a death-toll of hundreds thus far and another one of Padang's earthquake (the one which was felt in both Malaysia and Singapore). Perhaps watch a charitable concert on mtv few weeks later with short clips of celebrities visiting devastated places and partaking in some 'relief efforts'.

I feel so foolish that my self is so bounded to the world; its responsibilities and pitiless indifference. Lord, I don't know what I can do, but please teach me because I want to do them for You. Please let me take on Your burden and Your yolk and let me be in the world but not of the world.

Tonight before going to bed, let's not only say a prayer for those affected by the earthquakes and tropical depression but also one for ourselves - that we may never be complacent with only saying a prayer and donating some money but always be stirred to do more.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Oh Busy Days are BackBackBack!

My soul satellite is telling me, someone is watching over me!
Closer than my heart,beating to eternity.

Truth is, I don't like telling people that I'm too busy and way too busy to spare anyone any of my time. I hatehatehate it when people give excuses that they are too busy or when people boast about how busy they are as if they are more so incredibly important when they can spend hours on msn and facebook.

God, please help me not to be like that okay?

I know I can fill my whole calendar yet still have time to sit at the dining table to laugh at Jo for an hour especially every time mummy yells from the living room "JOANNE LOKE YI HUA HAVE YOU FINISH YOUR DINNER?!?!" Poor mummy, after she had finished dinner for close to an hour, her 19-year-old daughter is still at the dining table with still half a plate of rice left.

The other day while doing the dishes (yes! I do chores!) Jo was beside me and she was cutting apples. Suddenly I thought, "Fuiyoh, for once Jo is cutting me some apples." Then, of course, life is not a fairy tale - Jo proceeded not to eat those apples herself but fed them to the dog.

The dog did not finish (or enjoy) those apples.

Few hours later -

Credits: MoJo herself

See Jo? You did not manage to please the dog and you further displease mummy! Pabo!

Pabo means fool in Korean! Jessica suddenly knows Korean and *GASP* SuperJunior because Christine Ong showed her a video which made Jessica's IQ drop about 10 points.

If you think you are too intelligent and don't mind 10minutes of your life you'll never get back - Click here!

Until next time (Jo does something dumb) back to Philosophy!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

When Faith Moves Mountains

"Faith is a means by which one resigns in the present to invest an abstract future promise." Cuauhtemoc Medina

I was deluded by the thinking that by living in the present means I should do all that I want to do without further reasoning because careful reasoning and thinking will only impede my actions. And people always say you'll have more regrets over things you did not do than regrets on things you did perform. Carpe Diem! Seize the day! It's all so misleading; you feel almost obliged to do certain things you don't have a good feeling about just so you can 'live life to the fullest!'. If we refuse, we'll get the line "Why you so not sporting one?" As a result, so many of us live today with no principles nor firm beliefs. We take life as life is thrown at us and we whine about the predicament "the world put us into". In other words, we are but slaves of whatever life gives us.

I'm afraid of leaving. I wasn't afraid before but I am now; I was asleep before but now my eyes are wide open. Before, I had nothing to lose; but, now I'm afraid of losing my values, everything I stand for, I'm afraid of losing my faith, afraid of losing Him.

It is an abstract future, but it is not one without sound reasoning. It is not blind. I am not deluded, at least I no longer am =) and for this, I can only thank Lord. I can only pray that my faith be strong enough to guide me through what life throws at me so I can rise above those circumstances and stand as a witness for His mercy and grace.

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

Be careful what you wish for,
history starts now.

World by Five for Fighting

Monday, September 07, 2009

This Brings M.E.M.O.R.I.E.S

As I was just heading back to my room to get back to good ol' Philosophy, Pn. Looi's FB account caught my eye so I decided to check out what new travelling pictures she has uploaded.


something else caught my eye! It's...........




Datin Hasiah writing on her wall!

And then.......




I saw Pn. Wang's FB account! And!

JENG X 99999999999999999999


Thus, story ends here because my blog address is actually on my FB profile.

But check this out! One of Datin Hasiah's photos, haven't seen this one before right guys? (Only seen the other one from the Star) We all looked so happy celebrating Datin's retirement; she, even happier.

This picture is hilarious! First of all, there is a person (Rebecca Chew?) popping out above Loi's butt. And then! Woody's expression with the hand beside! And Preman's! So out of place! (the dude beside Woody) Only Gan Kar Mern is looking at this camera. Sophie looks..........crazy. I really don't understand my expression either. And, Ryui Bynn. ehem. No comment.

Oh, memories....

Friday, September 04, 2009

A World Without Coffee

is absolutely depressing.

Just like the movie I watched in Philosophy class - Human Nature;
just like the song I heard on Sam's blog Gary Jules - Mad World;

just reminds me how pathetic we people are;
just reminds me how sad the world we live in is;
just reminds me how much we all need God.

On a less depressing note -

BENG is coming back! =D

He's not giving you the finger,
it's just how he holds his phone
like a little girl... hehe

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Reminds Me of Somebody I Know...

Who shamelessly tells me (even when I begged her not to) how long she hasn't shave and how many inches it probably has grown...

credits: nataliedee

And now I actually miss her telling me gross stuff like that.
Oh, the irony of life =)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Semester 4 - Gear 1 (for now)

People talk on the their handphones during traffic jams.
I talk to God.

It's free!

Today while driving to school
- the first day of my 4th semester aka my last semester! serious one! -

I prayed that my last 2 months won't be about just classes and assignments, another 4.0 (cheh!) or just another 8 weeks.

I prayed that my presence in Inti would actually be a blessing to the people there instead of otherwise - when I first made friends in AUP it's because I needed to get 2nd hand textbooks.

I prayed that my one year plus in Inti actually counts for something other than just working hard to make the grade, endless worries about assignments and tests, and have nothing in mind other than just transferring after compiling enough credit hours.

Of course, I also prayed that this semester will be even more awesome than the previous one! =D

Okay people, even though my cGPA is now 3.97 I'm notnotnot sad! You guys can stop taunting me now imnotsad.imnotsad.imnotsad. hahahahaha.....

Frankly, last semester was the best time I've ever had packed in 4 months that I really don't care I got an A- In those 4 months, I've learn and experienced so much more than any 0.03 can buy; made some awesome trips to Lang Tengah, Malacca, Genting! & PD; on top of that, formed unexpected bonds and friendships. Plus, a cGPA of 3.97 shows I'm an actual living, breathing human!

But those who got a 4.0 GPA this semester better not walk into any lorong alone....*palms fist*

God reminded me that back in May, I blogged that I have a feeling that the semester was going to be a good one; He has never shortchanged me.

I have a feeling this semester is going to be even better! Beyond all expectations!

So, here we go!

6am mornings, traffic jams, sleep in car, forget to bath, lousy parkings, sleepless nights assignments and tests BUT unforgettable experiences, awesome people and a great God!

joy unspeakable that won't go away,
just enough strength to live for the day,
but I never have to worry what tomorrow may bring,
because my faith is on solid rock!
I'm counting on God!