Saturday, October 31, 2009

Hello Everyone!

I'm Jo, Jess' sister. She is staying awake studying Philosophy. She is wise now. Her room smells weird............ Ok bb.

Friday, October 30, 2009

O' Lord You Are Merciful

I just discovered...
Locke's empirical argument is not coming out in the subjective part.

THEN JESSICA WHY OH WHY DID YOU SPENT 5 HOURS ON THAT?!?! (including nap time)

See Jessica? Sometimes you gotta check first.
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica.

Bye Locke. We are not related.

10am, Thursday, 20th Oct -

Qisti: Yay! I've finished my exams!

Me: I haven't even started mine yet. Don't celebrate now or I'll kick your ass.


After my Microeconomics paper, I couldn't help ranting about it in the CAE.

Nad: It's okaylah Jessica, it's over already. Let's go get cendol.

Daniel:
Eh, no! Later she scold the cendol fella! - *in a somewhat Indian accent* The elasticity of your pulut is wrong!


Sigh. I actually find that funny.
Such a lame and nerdy joke.

Okays, though I don't need to see Locke anymore about Philosophy of Knowledge, I still need to see him now for Social Philosophy.

Hi again Locke =D I think you me are related.....again...

Dear Father, I pray that You will keep my sanity (and memory) intact.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hi Locke. Why Are You In My Philosophy Textbook?

One day, during class, I told Nad -

Me:
I secretly think that John Locke is one of my ancestors. So is Loke Yew. Locke probably married an Asian who has bad spelling and lost the C somewhere down the family line. Then, one of them probably had Loke Yew then ta-dah! Me!

Nad:
Er. Jess, have you gone crazy studying Philo?

But Jo told me Loke Yew's actual name is Wong Loke Yew so there goes my famous ancestors.

But Locke, if you really are my ancestor, there must be some genes you passed down to me to understand your philosophy!

First our Senses, conversant about particular sensible objects, do convey into the mind several distinct perception of things, according to those various ways wherein those objects do affect them......zzzzzzzzzzzzz *falls asleep and drools on Philosophy textbook*

Oh well...
I guess not....

Me:
After 2 months, I decided that I actually like studying philosophy *smiles*

Mr. Eric:
You mean you like studying the dumbed down version of introduction to philosophy? *bigger smile*

Yeah, so my Philosophy lecturer isn't the nurturing kind that showers us with praises and approval. Instead, he 'lavishes' us with sarcasm and Monty Python videos, and inserts such statements into our notes -

"Few philosphers in history have been so unreadable and dry as Immanuel Kant. Yet few have had a more devastating impact on human thought. Kant's devoted servant, Lumppe, is said to have faithfully read each thing his master published, but when Kant published his most important work, "The Critique of Pure Reason," Lumppe began but did not finish it because, he said, if he were to finish it, it would have to be in a mental hospital."

So this is the first statement I read before I attempt to conquer Kant's philosophy. Thanks Mr. Eric, you're the best! *big wide smile*

But really, I'm grateful to have enrolled in this class. One of the classes I learn most from and thoroughly enjoy. So fellow AUP-ians, if you're interested, do enroll in PHI101 with Mr. Eric Lee Chan Yu! (also because Philosophy is gonna be wayyyyyy tougher in the states, 50% failure rate?)
Only because I don't post enough pictures in my blog...
hahahaha
Credits: KC

Monday, October 26, 2009

Transition - Contemplation - Take Action!

I just realized I haven't been laughing for a long time.
I'm not depressed really.
I just hadn't found something to laugh out loud about, for quite some time now.
Perhaps I'm just smiling on the inside.

Yesterday I just realize the irony of Bathsheba's name.
King David first saw her while she was taking a bath.

Well, that's kinda funny....heeeeeeeee

Jess you have lost it.

I've been asking dear Daddy lately which university should I go to. And the other day while meditating on this (while bathing, I think all the time these days), I pictured this -

Me:
*eyes close, praying so fervently* Dear Heavenly Father, tell me oh tell me, which university should I go to?

- a sign saying X university is shown -

Me:
*opens eyes to see, then closes them again* Dear Heavenly Father, tell me oh tell me, which university should I go to?

- a sign still saying X university is shown -

Me:
*opens eyes, gets frustrated* Hey Man, are you going to let me know or not?! I'm going to give you one last chance. *closes eyes* Dear God, please tell me where should I be.

- silence -

Me: I emo with You now. *EMO*


*shakes head*
Jessica, Jessica, Jessica.

Well, I certainly hope I haven't been so ignorant and disobedient; but I know how often I tend to act this way. Our gracious Father has been ever so patient with me. When I think about it again, Sophie's words ring in my head -

Soph: Sometimes He gives us the freedom to choose.

Hmmm....
More thorough research of the schools I applied to needs to be done.

On a brighter note, finals are here. YAY!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Awakening

Yesterday afternoon, I received the news that my uncle has passed away. He has been suffering from lung cancer for a while but was looking forward to recovery when I visited him not long ago. His death is a shock for me. While my family rushed back to tend to his funeral, I sit in Inti attending my last few days of classes and completing my applications with a heavy heart. I am tired Father; I just want You now.

Today, I was hit hard.

Hit by an overwhelming desire to seek Your face, hit by an urgent need to humble myself and hit so incredibly hard by the reality I live in. I can't hide from You, Father. I broke down, I wept in front of You; though how much I try to hold back my tears, I couldn't.
I cried because I don't know where my uncle is right now. I don't know if he's with You, Father. I don't know if I'll be seeing him ever again. I cried because I'm just so afraid the same is going to happen to my family, and my friends. Are they going to choose You, Father? Will You please, please, please open their eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to receive You O'Lord? Will You please move in us so powerfully that we will never be able to deny You?

I cried because I'm afraid the same would happen for me. I don't know Father what would I say if someone puts a knife to my throat and ask whether I believe in You. I'm afraid to lose You but I know I might just as well turn my back on You. Please strengthen my faith my dear Father. Reading Peter's story almost 2000 years later, I find it so convenient to just scoff at how Peter denied Jesus 3 times. I used to read and think I would never, ever, ever do such a thing to You, I would never deny You. I used to think I'm so much better than Peter; but the fact is, I was (and perhaps still am) only a Judas, Father.

At the beginning of this semester, I said I will follow You, Father, You be the pilot of my life. As I take on all the responsibilities I encounter, You revealed to me, "I am the Lord, Your God, who takes hold of Your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41: 13. At first I was only taking small steps, but with Your strength, I started doing little hops, then before I know it, I was running, Father. I was running for You Father! I ran, and I ran, and I ran.

I was so happy with myself! I couldn't wait to tell you how awesome I'm doing and asked if You are proud of me. But when I looked beside me, You are not there anymore. I looked behind, nope. So I squinted my eyes and looked harder, and there I see You, far behind waving at me. You were calling at me to go back, telling me I've gotten way ahead of myself, that I'm at the danger of getting lost. And I gotta admit, I was reluctant to walk back to You, Father; I thought You should come to me instead!

Forgive me, Father?
Help me learn to be a willing and obedient child of Yours.
Help me humble myself to learn.
Help me keep the best for You always.

As I end this chapter in Inti College tomorrow, grant me willingness to obey where You plant me next, Father. I might be enchanted by Cornell, Colgate or Wheaton; but show me Your way and Your will, Father, and I will follow You. You are all I want because there is none greater than You.

You're breaking......
You're breaking......into my heart.

And I'm......letting You.

Your eyes are full,
full of the future of us.

The thief by Brooke Fraser


Thank you guys sincerely for praying for my uncle. Please continue to pray for me and my family; for Him to be our comfort and guide; also that God will grant me His wisdom and courage and use me to reach out to my family especially during such a time. Additionally, I've also finally completed all my universities applications. Please pray that God will direct me to the right doors. Thank you sincerely =)

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Final Week In College


Me
: Nad, I'm getting cold feet about leaving now.

Nad: Then rub them together until they warm back up. *laughs*


I'm learning to deal with the pain of responsibilities.
I'm learning to face harsh truths in my life.
And I'm learning to lay my complete trust in our Lord Jesus Christ.

For Seafieldians, remember Andy Gan Hsien Loong? Yup, the golfer. Let's take 10minutes off our busy-ness to read this and keep him in prayer =)


I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is is the way
that I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

"Learning to Breathe" by Switchfoot

Dear Ce Ce Blue,

aka MoJo the witch from Salem
aka MojoJojo from PPG
aka Wolverine

I love you for cleaning the toilet.

although you made it dirty in the first place.
although you forgot to properly scrub the toilet bowl and replace a new tube of toothpaste.
although I paid you 2 ringgit to do it.

I still love you Ce Ce Blue! =D

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Hallelujah~ We Want To Lift You Higher~

Paul Baloche - A Greater Song

This week I've learn that true joy in a person can only come from God =)

Just one more week of classes, another for finals, and everything will be over. This semester has gone by faster than I've expected. You know how they say you don't really miss something until its gone, why are we humans like that? Hmmm.... I wonder how does Psychology explain this phenomenon.

I'm anxious. Jumpy.
The end of October is here.

I need to REALLY complete my applications once and for all.
This weekend.

Jessica oh Jessica......Why why why why do you always wait til' the deadline. I think its a sickness. Maybe procrastination will be labeled as a disorder someday in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder).

Okay enough of nerd talk. Currently, I'm in the midst of compiling a list of things I have to do while I'm still in Malaysia and another list for what I have to do in the states. So, help me out please? hehe

Here's an illustration why we should never lie -

1. Coming home from work, a woman stopped at the corner deli to buy a chicken for supper. The butcher reached into a barrel, grabbed the last chicken he had, flung it on the scales behind the counter, and told the woman its weight. She thought for a moment. "I really need a bit more chicken than that," she said."Do you have any larger ones?" Without a word, the butcher put the chicken back into the barrel, groped around as though finding another, pulled the same chicken out, and placed it on the scales. "This chicken weighs one pound more," he announced. The woman pondered her options and then said, "Okay. I'll take them both."

Taken from: homehttp://www.blountweb.com/churches/eastside/bestpolicy.html

Happy Deepavali Malaysians!
And Happy Diwali for the rest of the world!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Here's to My Twin - Alexis =D

God be with you.

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." Psalm 84:5

Jo did this after she called Alexis today and felt she sounded "very, very, very sad and tired".



Composed and written by MoJo, sung and destroyed by her sister. (at least I contributed!)

And Jo complains when I asked her to edit my university application essays!

Jo! (willingness)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Jess Doesn't Really Like Driving Now

I think I've spent 5% of my time in the past few months stuck in traffic.
It's not a very happy feeling especially when you're driving Betty - she's a manual.
Today it took me 3 hours to go to Kepong and come back to Subang.

I'm really sad.


When I finally got home 4 hours later after picking up Jo from the KTM -

Jo: Oh man... I'm so tired. Can't even get up from the car seat.

Me: Er. You're still wearing the seatbelt.


I'm really sad because my sister is so 'smart'.
It could be genetical.... T.T

Nowadays, I'm usually in school from 7am until (at least) 7pm. There was one day when I have nothing left to do at 4pm, and I felt weird going home so early.

It has already been a year since I first enrolled in Inti College. I used to just go to classes or wait before my classes start at Starbucks. The only times I stepped into Inti would be for classes or to sit in my corner in the library. Inti felt so foreign, like one of those weird relatives who visit you once in a blue moon. They try being friendly and nice to you, but there is still that 'distanced' feeling you know.

In my mind I thought, "I'll only be here for 1 year, satu tahun sahaja!, then I'll have enough credits to transfer to my dream school". All I need to do is studyworkpray to achieve my 4.04.04.0. So of course I didn't bother making many friends or joining clubs or anything that will 'attach' me to Inti.

(so here comes the expected and corny part of this post)

I finally joined Inti Christian Fellowship last semester, with an extra push from both Alexis and Auntie Dino; subsequently got involved in the committee this semester. Then, finally got our weekly bible study running consistently. I find myself tutoring 3 person this semester (I think I'll definitely score A+ if I have to take PSY105 again because I have to go through the text at least 3 times). I stay back just to talk to lecturers, most of the time I get more questions in return than answers but I still learn more than I ever could just listening in class. I finally got to know all the academic advisors in the CAE; initially my intention was only to have them help me with my applications, but now I just love to sit there and learn from their lives. Being able to step into the CAE each morning and be greeted with smiling faces makes the rest of your day much sweeter.

God rebuked me good and let me know how important it is to engage where He planted me in. His vision for me wasn't to hide away for one year until it's time to transfer; that was my way. We always wish to see our ways as best and all else secondary. I guess many times it is not only choosing our own will over His, but forgetting His ways exist altogether.

At last, I feel settled; Inti feels like home.
Yet, it's my last semester and I'm leaving for the states soon.
Life is ironic eh?

I have been preparing to leave since 2007. Back then, I felt ever so ready to conquer the world, to realize my dreams as a child to study in the states. In retrospect I know very well I was not ready, and if I were to leave back then I can't imagine who would I've become now. Lord, I thank you so much for keeping me here, I understand why now.

Right now, I don't feel like leaving anymore =(
I finally feel settled in Inti and I have to start all over in the states?
Foreign places, foreign faces?
-20 degree Celsius when I arrive in January?
Should I stay until next August?

ahhhhhhhhhhh..............................

*inhale exhale*

Father, I leave all my questions to you, because I know for real now that You always know best. My trust is in You, my Truth can only be found in You. I surrender everything into Your hands Father Lord; not 70%, not 90% or even 99.9% Father, I give you 100% of myself. No matter how painful or tiring it may be Lord, I give you my all, change and transform me completely. Forever and ever Father, let me stand as a witness of Your mercy and grace.

This is my cry,
my one desire,
more of You,
more of You.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Thank You for The Cross

National Film Board of Canada - 2009 Winning Short Film.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

I Know You're Everything

You're all I'll ever need,
I know You're everything to me.

I know You're everything.
You're all I'll ever need,
I know You're everything to me.

I know You're everything.
You're all I'll ever need,
I know You're everything to me

cuz' I belong to You!
Yes I belong to You!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Victor misses Wolverine =(


By the way Jo, what is Ben then?