Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Life in Nebraska, More Than Words Can Say.

Just an amazing sight.

Cowboy style.
With motorcycles. Not horses.

Thank you, God for the amazing South Dakota Trip.

Thank you for those beautiful clouds.

A package from Mummy!!!
Oldtown White Coffee and itik noodles!!!
Thank you, Mummy Loke.

A wonderful dinner with my favorite German.

Drink locally.
Think globally.

Crazy Brit hoarding all the shredded American dollars.

Someone once said, "Everything is big in America! Even the peas!" That person is right. hahahaha

A turkey burger and a cup of coffee. A delicious and fulfilling dinner.

Leaves in all shapes and colors. Beautiful little things we usually miss.

Sometimes tough love works better ;P

The wonderful trio - British accent, lame excuse and weird rock star wannabe.

Talking to Jo on msn in class :)

Don't the colors blend well together? I like fall.

There is no place like Nebraska!

My green nasi lemak. No pandan leaves here, so I used pandan essence.

Isn't fall just too pretty?

Wonderful people I met along the way :)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Big Boi. Big Red. Big Boi. Big Red.

Fall is here.

As I was walking across the campus green yesterday, in an unusual carefree mood, planning out my fall break, I heard -

"Hey, want a free sunglass?"

(If you want free stuff, America is the place to be)

"Ya, sure. Thanks"

"Are you coming for the concert tonight?"

"Sorry, I can't. I have class tonight."

"Well, you can still come after class."

"Sure. Thanks."

People on campus have been talking about the concert for about 2 weeks now. I just nod along whenever someone talks to me about me. I couldn't spare time to state what the heck is a big boi concert nor be patient enough to listen about the cause the concert is supporting for (they usually have one nowadays eh?).

It wasn't until the day of the concert itself, as I was taking a detour across the campus green in front of Selleck (my home), I finally met Big Boi in the shape of a life size poster. Right! Big Boi is the guy from Outkast. I didn't pay much attention to it again until I heard they spend close to $40,000 on the concert. It didn't particularly had a cause besides trying to break the record of most people checking-in with "Foursquare" - some new social-networking app. They, as in, the students on campus, the residence house association which granted $5,000 to have the concert.

I understand that students should have fun and I shouldn't be a party pooper but isn't that a little too much money to spend on a night with Big Boi?

Credits: Lincoln Journal Star
You can see Selleck (my home) behind.
Yup, people were dancing in front of my home.

The problem with our world economy and finance is that a lot of money is not going to the right places. We are working hard for the wrong reasons. We are being busy with things we deem necessary but in fact they are really not.

In the Midwest, we have here the Malaysian Students Department that help keep track of Malaysian students in the Midwest. They provide us with funding and support if we are throwing a big campus event. We also have the Midwest games every summer which is funded by them. Should any of us choose to participate in the event, it is all expense paid to attend those events whether it is in Iowa or Minnesota. And guess where those funds come from? You are right, the Malaysian taxpayers.

We have another two of those Malaysian Students Department; one in California and another in the east side.

I'm not saying it is an absolute bad thing having them here; I understand that the welfare of students over 10,000 miles from home needs to be taken care of. But, I am stating the fact that we are given a lot of money and sometimes we misuse it without thinking where its from and why its given. We think we deserve it. Really?

Watching the game in the apartment of a real Husker fan

Yesterday we (the Huskers) lost our game against Texas. Everyone seem really upset because they were looking forward to revenge since last year but just lost so badly this time around. Additionally, this is the last year the Huskers are in the Big 12 conference; so, we are not going to match Texas for some time. I couldn't comfort people by saying, "It's okay. We can beat them next year!"

Last chance.

Orange represents Texas

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


This semester, I decided to be more involved in campus organizations and decided to run for vice-president for both clubs. Well, actually only for one club; I ran for president and got the second job instead. I admit, I was incredibly ambitious. I already have a job plus 16 credit hours including PSYC 350 - made into a compulsory class for Psychology majors because if it ain't compulsory nobody would sign up for this class. It is the most hectic, assignment loaded class I've ever had since I started college in 2008. I'm doing my PSYC 350 lab homework now, at 4:20am, and I will be still doing them tomorrow, and day after tomorrow, and the following day, and so forth until finals come.

I took up the job because I want to make a change, and I want to learn. Strangely, I never have thoughts that I will deal with actual humans when I took up the job. I want to learn how to be attentive to details, how to be creative, how to efficient and effective....but instead, now I'm stuck at - how to deal with people who are incredibly different from you. People who have different cognitive processes, different working styles, different values hence different emphasis in their work. Lately, I have been incredibly uptight and frustrated when dealing with such people. I want to be humble and see things from a different perspective but I'm just too stubborn and self-righteous for now.

And I bring this frustration outside those meetings; my life has just been accumulating this sense of fatigue and frustration. I am late for my classes and I lost my motivation to learn, which was why I hunger to attend an American college in the first place. Sigh. I need a break. Winter break come quick.

It has only been 2 months since I got back to Lincoln, Nebraska. But it really does feel like 1 year has passed because so much has happened, yet so much is still waiting to be done.

At 4:33am now, it'll be back to PSYC 350 lab work.

I must be reminded that my frustrations are minor compared to anything else. There is so much that needs to be done in our world and back home in Malaysia. The world must be a much better place if each of us think less of ourselves. I'm not espousing the cheesy "think about others" and things like that, but I truly believe if we think less about ourselves and our self-importance (-a truly effective product marketing tool-) the world could be a MUCH better place.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Brand New Semester

Hello people!

Ya, I know I've been missing quite a bit. My schedule got a little too tight from not listening to my advisor's advice of taking only 13 credit hours this semester with Research Methodology and Data Analysis class. I remember her saying, "Taking 13 with this class is like taking 16. So if you want to take 16 credits, it will be like taking 19 credit hours!" Of course, I decided to overestimate my abilities and take 16 anyways. Hence, I have barely time to breathe this semester.

Moral of the story: Advisors are called advisors for a reason. They give advice worth taking.

Anyways, notice I changed my blog banner? Those are two of my favorite pictures I took while I was in New York City. I am missing New York City. Missing the beautiful museums, architecture, bustling city smell and sight and those mesmerizing Times Squares lights. The picture on the left was taken in New York Public Library. The one on the right was taken during a slow walk alone through Central Park on New Year's Day 2010. It is strange to think how much memories and feelings are anchored there. I guess it is not so much the place I'm missing but the memories, feelings, company I had while I was there. I had just left Malaysia then - December 26th. It was the most surreal feeling being in New York City when I've dream of going to America since 6 years old.

Fast forward 8 months later, I'm in my second semester in UNL. Things have lost their sense of novelty but the challenges remain. I once heard this story - You know how during a marathon, we usually cheer for our participating friends at the beginning of the run and especially at the finishing line? But in fact, it is the middle when they need cheering the most because the middle have lost its sense of novelty and accumulated a sense of fatigue and tiredness of still being far away from the finishing line. Well, I'm not on a marathon right now but I can use some cheering up :)

Undeniably, God is still good and my head is above waters.

Thursday is my favorite day because class doesn't start until 2pm and there's always a House marathon on Thursdays on channel 27. Some coffee, some jazz music and some work while House is good.

Suggestions for interesting conversations anybody?

Monday, June 07, 2010

Growth. Stuck.

Do I believe that You're my God?

That You are all I need,
that YOU are ALL I need.

Do I believe that You'll sit down,
and be crowned my King for eternity?

My Daddy,
My Abba,
My best friend.


Sunday, May 30, 2010


Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire, to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm afraid you'll forget about me.

Edge of desire by John Mayer

Being back feels different.

It felt as if I came back from another planet because things here are so different from how things are in Nebraska. The people are different, the attitude is different, the food is different; being in a city so different from small (but special) town Lincoln. Life runs on a different schedule.

But time with family and friends is amazing as always. With them is the only time I feel things haven't change, partially because I've only left for 4 months.

In Malaysia,
I can speak Malaysian again.
I'm reading The Star again.
And I'm driving Betty again.

And Alexis is right; back here in Malaysia, I'm more in touch with the American culture than I was when I was in America. Here, I hear about American Idol on the radio so often. There, I didn't even know American Idol started. I hear about the Hollywood celebrities on radio; there, I hear only the muffled sounds of the radio playing Lady Gaga (rarr rarr gaa gaa) from the bathroom across my dorm room.

I guess we are only getting the generalized American culture here. The one about the stars and celebrities and "liberal" ideas - drinking, partying, pre-marriage cohabitation. The other ideas are harder to catch on - courtesy, innovation, hard work.

While driving home the other day, I thought so much about the people here. And of GOD's presence here. No matter how much I love being in the United States, my heart is still here with my fellow Malaysians. Malaysians are also GOD's people and Malaysia is still GOD's nation. And I dream of our nation following Jesus.

Of course, it's only a dream.
Without prayers and actions in His power, dreams will remain what they are.

But this vision from GOD also told me to look beyond my petty problems.
I have been dwelling in my problems for far too long.
I have been thinking about me for far too long.

It is about others.

It is about GOD's people.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Finals! Finals! Finals!

It is Finals week!
I've been spending at least 14hours a day in the basement computer lab studying since last Saturday.

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone
Unknown and hurt

It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew
All the riches in the world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot

It's a strange relief to know that I don't belong here;
that GOD has set apart a place for me in His new Kingdom.

But while I'm still here,
Lord, I pray to be doing Your will.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

As the Semester is Ending...

Can't believe it's three more weeks then finals then POOF! I've spent a semester here in the United States. I no longer freak out and study for hours at the mention of an exam or quiz; nor do I take hours to complete a 5 page paper anymore. Exams, quizzes, papers, and assignments happen way too often for me to keep up with the freaking out part.

The weather is getting lovely outside, and I smile to myself when I pass by a blooming plant. Often, I stop to smell the flowers (like the pretty girls on television). Why are flowers much more pretty and fragrant here? I see the beautiful green lawn covered with half naked people trying to get a tan, and I can't help but stop and soak up the sun.

GOD is good isn't He?

He could have us live in a monotonous black and white world but He made everything so beautiful and colorful for us.

Bri being queen.
Becky being cheeky.
Me being Malaysian :)

I am reminded to be mindful of things I asked from GOD.

I asked GOD for patience;

He gave me a roommate.

I have always thought that I'm the messiest girl in the whole wide world.

But I was mistaken...

But let's not grumble. *trying very hard*

(the ramblings above were typed few weeks apart from the ones below, I am now ONE WEEK AWAY from Summer!!!!)

The American system and American culture continues to fascinate me. I noticed that American students are actually incredibly hard workers. It might be okay for them getting a B or a C (a B is 80plus and C is 70plus) but outside school, on average based on the people I know, they work between 10-15hours.

Note: I am generalizing. There are a lot of straight As American students as well.

But my point is, they work really hard. On top of completing the quizzes, unending papers and preping for exams, they work outside school and they work in school - student ministries, student government, lab and research work, varsity sports, community work.....

In contrast, Malaysian students, we are mostly focused on getting As. To be honest, the toughest class I've had only had 3 papers, 4 quizzes and 3 exams. Living in the city back in Malaysia, I barely hear any students having to work outside home to subsidize their expenses. (Or maybe I just don't have that many friends) I am just thinking, is that why we, Malaysians, always complain that we are bored?

Note: I am still generalizing here. Not all of us are this lazy right?

Luke and Alex during our Rodeo Week!

Another thing I've noted is how much liberty we have as students here. For some classes, I can decide when I am ready to take the exam and go to the testing centers to take it. My professor will usually give a time period of 3 days to take it. For other classes, I can even take those quizzes or exams on my own laptop in my own room, with my books ready for reference. But there are also many classes that still do it the old fashion way.

One time when we were having a fire drill, everyone in the dorm had to leave and gather in the yard in front.

Random girl: I'm doing my laundry!

Me: Aiyoh. I'm studying for my exam lah (old habits die hard, the lah doesn't go away).

Bai Xue (Alexis' roommate): I am actually taking my exam online!!!!!

So, there are times when our liberty does us harm... Hmmm....

From a Cognitive Psychology point of view (I'm taking this class this semester), it's better to take the exams where you were first taught the material. This is because your environment provides you the cues to encode those information into your memory, and if you were in the same environment, the same cues are available to help you recall what was learn.

Ruth Angelina from Indonesia :)
We have this Malaysians against Indonesian thing here.

If halfway through the course I decide that I'm not doing good on the course, I can withdraw from it and drop the class. If I would have realized it earlier, I can change the class to pass/no pass. Meaning it'll only show on my transcript whether I passed the class or not, not my actual grades. Of course, we have limited chances to do so. It helps us learn to be strategic! Kinda like playing Monopoly.

Speaking of Monopoly, we played Monopoly again last Saturday; challenging the queen of Monopoly on our floor - Becky.

Becky calling for help. And not getting any.

And Yume bankrupt.

That shall be the anti-climax ending we shall be ending with!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Since I'm Kinda Occupied with 4 Papers, 1 Book Report, 2 Exams and Playing Outside in the Wonderful Weather!!!

I decided to entertain you guys with another picture of Yume.
I laughed non-stop seeing this picture. Look at Yume's expression!!!

Yume is from Tokyo, Japan. Chelsey is from Hawaii. While Gabee is from Korea, wait no, I think Japan too. Wait no, Korea. I'm pretty sure.

The funny thing is though we are in America, we still tend to befriend more Asians as compared to Americans. Today at the dinner table, we have 2 Koreans, 2 Japanese, 2 Malaysians and 1 American. But that's Chelsey, she can be considered Asian too because she always bring us all kinds of Asian snacks that her mum mails to her from Hawaii (sweet mum right??).

Mummy Loke has been really sweet too; she mailed me Ipoh old town white coffee after I finished my supply in just two months in America. She even put in 2 fortune cookies she received during the Chinese New Year period. Thanks Mummy Loke :) I also have endless supplies of fortune cookies here in the dining hall when they serve Chinese food. I secretly take a few back to my room so when I get stressed out I'll take one out to eat and be entertain by its funny un-fortune-like messages.

Some says -

"You have a sensitive personality. You are aware of how people around you feel."

"You are the chosen one."

Others say -

"Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese fortune cookie factory!"

"You will live long enough to open many, many, many, many fortune cookies."

Then another day, Tutu told me her friend opened a cookie. And there is no fortune inside. Mind-blowing mystery..............hahahahaa

I had a great Good Friday and Easter Sunday weekend; it was well spent with GOD and His people. Ron and Judy had a few of us over for Easter dinner (though we ate at 1pm), and Judy roasted this HUGE 25 pounds turkey (a heavy newborn is about 9 pounds). It was so big that it gives out so much grease that the turkey caught fire in the oven. It was literally huo ji or fo kai! (For those that understand Mandarin and Cantonese) hehehe But thank GOD it wasn't burnt and we had an awesome Easter dinner (really awesome, our stomachs nearly exploded).

I'm so grateful for the people GOD placed in my life.
They are family :)
I've learn that GOD prepares us a family no matter where we'll be.
Where He is, that is where home will be.
Because no matter where we go, He will always be our Father, Abba, Daddy looking out for us from heaven.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I Had Fun Today!

Best things in life are always free
GOD's salvation is one of them

I haven't had fun for such a long time that I didn't notice fun is SO FUN!

It was 15 degree celsius outside today! The sun was shining, so a few of us went out to play frisbee! I was suppose to be doing my paper and studying for a quiz tomorrow but I went out and play in the sun! And it was FUN! A couple of us ran barefoot on the big grassy space in front of Selleck Quad (our residence hall) and laugh ourselves silly. I was running in shorts! It was the first time since December 2009 that my legs see sunlight again! The light is just so beautiful; and this light is Jesus :)

And when I got back, I was still suppose to study but I played Monopoly with Alexis and Yume! Yume taught me how to trick other people into giving up large sums of money and eventually fail. She learns all strategies of how to play monopoly from her boyfriend who watches people play monopoly on youtube. And she fights with her boyfriend when they play monopoly together!

Me: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 - community chest! Tax refund, 50 dollars for you.

Yume: *sigh* I want REAL tax refund.

Here, everything is taxed. Food is taxed. Books are taxed. Clothes are taxed. International students who worked in the US will be taxed as well.


And I won at monopoly!

And because I had so much fun today I'm still up at 4am studying and typing my paper. But it doesn't matter, because I HAD FUN TODAY!!!

Thank You, Jesus :D

And the wonder of it all
is that I'm living just to fall
more in love with You

Perfect Peace

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Missing People Back in Malaysia

I'm in serious need of one of these!!!
(credits: toothpastefordinner)
For the first time in 10 years I have to share a room with someone. Mummy Loke used to say I'm the dirtiest girl in the whole wide world when she steps into my room. BUT NOW, I BEG TO DIFFER. I can see chunks of hair on the floor, trash full of garbage and a fridge filled with expired products. My room smells funny. All the time.
Yu came in to my room and gave me a pat on my shoulder and said, "Jessica, I'm so proud of you for being able to live in here." Couple of days later, Naeyoung said to me,"The last time when I went into your room I thought the smell came from you and I didn't dare to say anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. But now I know it's not you. Your room smells horrible!"
Oh Lord, please help me.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Friends Say The Darnest Things

Yume: What sports do you guys play back in high school?

Me: Hmmmm... I think I used to play a bit of basketball.

Yume: But.. You're short.

Me: Doesn't mean I can't play!!! So what sort of sports do you play back in school?

Yume: I used to play tennis.

Me: But... You're really short too.

Yume: Ya, but I play because I wanted to wear the short skirt.

Yume is one of the funniest girl I've met here in Lincoln. She's also my Residence Assistant, means she's kinda like a mum who takes care of the people living on her floor. She has been a good mum so far, feeding us Japanese rice cakes whenever we're hungry and providing us with cans of Mountain Dew when we're thirsty. And she has appeared on The Star before too! (because Alexis' article about life in UNL got published on The Star haha)

At the dining hall...

Yume: Oh... I feel tired... I think I should take a nap.

Me: Yume, do you want to pass your accounting test, graduate and work in New York?

Yume: Oh no! I need to study!

Yume will graduate this May; she's secured a job in New York. Unfortunately, it means she's going to leave this May. Alexis also got a Residence Assistant position in Cather hall. Unfortunately, it also means that she's going to live in Cather this fall. More unfortunately, it also means I gotta start doing my own laundry. (Or I'm also considering the prospects of carrying my laundry to Cather hall, it's about 1-2 blocks away, not too bad).

Everybody's leaving this May.
No time to feel sad now, 2 exams and 1 paper due!
Have a good week people!

Happiness Is Looking At The Weather Forecast :D

Spring is here!
Spring is here!
Spring is here!

No more icy cold toilet seats in the morning.
No more big, fat, bulky winter coats.
No more dead trees, grass, everything....


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart
that's still breathing

I have been wanting to post but kept putting it off because something else always comes up or that I'm too tired to. This is one thing I've noticed about American culture, or the typical life of an American student, the word busy is synonymous with it. You won't have time for anything unless you make time for it - you have to write it down in your schedule, set a mental reminder and make a commitment to fulfill it. I have been constantly busy with school and people - living in a dorm is like living with 30 siblings. It can be really fun but there will be times when you just want to avoid bumping into anyone.

It has only been barely 3 months since I left Malaysia, but my life back in Malaysia has already felt like a completely different life. So distant, almost as if it happened decades ago. Before coming here, I was afraid. But by the grace of God, I fitted in Nebraska perfectly. There was no trial and error, no feeling of loneliness, and no fear at all. And now that I am settled, I am afraid to go back. It might sound silly and I have the slightest clue why I feel this way.

Classes and papers have been some of the things I enjoyed most; workload is triple that of Inti's so I have been living from deadlines to deadlines. On average, I have at least one exam and two assignments due every week. I enjoyed all of them (with a slight exception for Statistics, but I'm learning to make peace with it). This few days the weather is finally in transition for Spring, the snow is melting, I can now see grass, shrubs and not feel like I'm living in a fridge!

Someone else is taking over
and I just wish to be completely broken for You

The people I've met so far are incredibly nice and helpful. I've had tons of free home-cooked dinner and lunches. I've met a guy who took of his (only) t-shirt to give it to me when I was shivering while walking outside; it was kinda scary because I have just met the guy, nonetheless, that is just so sweet of him because it was -5celsius outside! I've had the pleasure of talking to some of the most interesting people and meeting people from around the world who, like me, have came in search of a new self in the great United States of America.

I can't thank God more for what He has done for me; but I keep getting distracted. I feel completely alright but not at the same time. My heart feels completely fine yet broken at the same time; it is crying out for God but not at the same time.

In the pain
there is healing
In Your name
there is meaning

So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to You

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139: 23-24

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Soon And Very Soon

I gotta admit, sometimes, I am really tired.
Lord, I am tired; and these are the times I need You most.
Yet those are also the times I put so many other things before going to You.

You ask so many things of me,
it is only because You know I am able to complete them through You.
Yet, there are times when my foolish self thinks that I can very well do them without Your help.

But Lord I pray for a heart that wants more of You.
That yearns to serve You and Your people.
My soul is not satisfied.

I want to see You.
Soon and very soon.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Happy Birthday Mummy Loke!

My mum sent me old town coffee from Malaysia!
She is the greatest mummy on earth!
I love you! :D

This short and meaningless post is just to let you know I've not forgotten about my blog and I'll update soon enough :D
In the mean time, PRAISE THE LORD people!
Life is good in Lincoln :)

Well, if life is not good for you now PRAISE THE LORD anyways and it'll become good.
Money-back guaranteed.
But, since you don't have to pay to PRAISE THE LORD then you won't get money back.

I sure wear that dark blue shirt and black jeans a lot...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

A Look Into The Daily Nebraskan

"The anticipation of the iPad wasn't so much an anticipation of a great new product or service that would revolutionize our lives. It was an anticipation of something new that we could buy from Apple. When we as a people have sunk so low that the highlight of our culture is more to buy, we have lost all of our cultural autonomy.

Regardless of what you think about politics or policies, the State of the Union acts as a barometer gauging where the country could go in the future. Not that anyone would know. But hey, did you hear about the iPad?"

Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I Miss You Brothor Laedees....

This is such an ugly picture of you both!
(because I picked the ugliest one from my album)

January 2010

The new semester has started.
I have a feeling that a new battle is starting.

I'm feeling the weight of my workload and constantly am questioning whether I'm able to handle it all.

What am I talking about?!

Of course I can't!

I hear the Savior say,
"Thy strength indeed is small.
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all."

I've been having the time of my life this past month. Although I was terrified about leaving Malaysia, I'm feeling right at home here in Lincoln, Nebraska. The first few weeks at a new place, meeting new people, there is always a 'break the ice' conversation. The one which you struggle to think of anything possible to ask the other party so we won't have to face the awkward silence and look everywhere but the person's face. The most common question people will ask you is -

So, why Lincoln? Why Nebraska? Why UNL?

Me: Lincoln picked me.

It reminds me of times people proclaim, "I have found GOD!" It gets me a little irritated when I hear people say that. I really want to know, what does it mean when people say, "I have found GOD!" What do you mean when you say you FOUND GOD? Was GOD buried underneath your pile of dirty laundry? Or was GOD hiding from you? Was GOD lost? NO!

HE has been here all along. HE has been searching for you. You were lost until HE FOUND YOU! He found you because HE love you so much that HE didn't give up on you, and HE STILL IS PURSUING YOU!

I am able to pray because GOD is helping me to pray.
I am able to sing His praises because He put songs in my heart.
I am able to do all things I'm doing because His hands are guiding me.

Jesus picked me.
He found me.

Frankly, I want to yell when people call me religious. I am not religious. None of this is my own work. NONE OF IT IS MY EFFORT. School work, participation in ministry, relationships with people, and my personal relationship with GOD; it is all His works evident in my life. When I worry, He comforts me. When I grow weary, He carried me. Fact is, I'm bankrupt, and He is all I have. All the glory and praise goes to He who lives in me.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I've sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Song lyrics -
Jesus paid it all
Jesus I my cross have taken

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Oh! Sociology!

This is one of the hardest class I'm tackling right now - Women in Contemporary Society.

I'm not complaining about the exciting loads of readings I have to do for the class; but I do find it difficult as many theories and explanations provided goes against my beliefs.

On top of that, I have not taken an Intro. to Sociology class to give me a good ground work for Sociological perspectives and terms. I'm building my house and laying its foundation at the same time, yay.

Ultimately, I can't stop laughing at some seriously idiotic statements made by some sociologists.

"Thompson (1992) argued that eating problems, rather than "disorders", is a more accurate term. It does not locate the source of the trouble in the individual, as disorder implies. Indeed, she argued that eating problems may stem from rational choices (such as the choice to become less attractive to lower the chances of being sexually victimized)."

Alexis: Is that what you're trying to do?

Me: For the gazilion time people, this is my winter storage! :D

Oh! GOD! Please................HELP!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Got A Number!

Me: Heys! I just got my phone number! And guess what, I have unlimited texting!

Tutu: I have LIMITED texting, so don't text me!

Week 2 (almost) in Lincoln, Nebraska, and I'm lovin' it :)

Like in Singapore how both parties (caller and receiver) get charged when a phone call is made, in America, both parties get charged when a text is sent. But with an unlimited texting plan, my texting is already paid for, so I'M GONNA TEXT ALL OF YOU GUYS! :D

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I've Arrived.....in Siberia

If you think -6 degrees Celsius is cold, imagine -6 degrees Fahrenheit.
Well, this is a picture of Siberia, but it looked like that when I looked out the airplane window on the way to Lincoln, Nebraska, but without the hills. It is mostly flat lands here, that's why the wind chills are SCARY!

It's pretty weird that nowadays, the first thing I do each morning is check the weather for the day and the temperature then. But honestly, once it hit -5 degrees Celsius, anything else below feels the same. It just feels like you're living in a fridge.

Snow, snow, snow! Everywhere!

I see snow pile up everywhere in Lincoln; Alexis is having all the fun in the world pushing me into the snow whenever there is a big pile close by. Those are piles as tall as one story buildings!

The people in the university said that this is the coldest winter in 20 years; it is not usually cold like that. Nevertheless, they gave us a 'warm' welcome, literally. Fill us up with (free) hot meals and drinks.

Leaving New York was like leaving Malaysia for the second time. I repacked all of my 'treasure' accumulated for 21 years into 2 suitcases of 46kg and lugged them down the streets of New York, through the subway. IT WASN'T EASY. I was going to call the cab, but Sophie wanted us to exercise (or maybe tear a muscle) and save $60. Man, if it wasn't for GOD's help I don't think we would have made it to the airport with 60 over kg of luggages.

My flight was a LONG and eventful one! I had to fly from JFK Airport in New York to St. Louis, Missouri then from there to Chicago O'Hare Airport, then fly to Lincoln, Nebraska. In between NY and St. Louis, I had a 7 hours transit. And since it was between 11pm to 6am, the city is close, I could only hang out at a bagel shop at the airport, the only shop opened 24hours there.

Thank GOD it was one of the few airports that had free wi-fi! But as I was going to facebook my time away, the bagel guy strike up conversations after conversations. Usually I would enjoy conversations with others, but it was 12am, I was tired and sleepy after being at JFK since 5pm, not to mention I was a small little Asian girl in the airport with few others.

But...we got to know each other anyways (more like I got to know his life story) then at 3am I thought I could finally be alone. Then! Came another Vietnamese dude who needs help with an officer because he couldn't speak English. He spoke limited Cantonese so I manage to understand him a little with my TVB Drama Cantonese training. Just when I thought I will be left alone again, the Vietnamese dude decided to be friendly and bought me a drink from the bagel shop and started talking to me. AHHHHHHH. So, I got to know his life story as well...

Time didn't fly by with 2 dudes telling me their life stories. It lasted the longest time possible until it was 6am to board my flight to Chicago.

One of the things I did most this past month is going through security checks! I went through those checks before boarding a plane, at the transit, going in Times Square on New Year's Eve, visiting Statue of Liberty and the list goes on. And it's not fun during winter because you have to peel of almost every layer on you - jacket, coat, scarf, belt, watches, shoes..

I miss the times in Malaysia when we can just say, let's go out, then grab our keys and wallet and go. Here, we have to make sure, MAKE SURE, we have everything before going out or we are gonna become blocks of ice. Every time I see a glove on the street somewhere, I label it as - TRAGEDY. Your fingers will seriously turn blue without a good pair of gloves. I experienced that, it scared me that I couldn't feel my fingers for quite a while. I think it's worst than sticking your hands in a bucket of ice, because the temperature is -25 degrees celsius. Alexis leaves our ice cream outside the window to keep it frozen.


Anyways, so, I arrived in Lincoln Airport at 1030am, thinking where has the plane flew me to while looking out the window. I seriously thought it was a cloudy day while looking out of the window in the plane until I saw roads on those 'clouds'. I went to the baggage claim area and couldn't find my luggage because it appears that the lady back in JFK tagged my bags wrongly! Next, I waited and waited and waited and NO ONE CAME TO PICK ME UP!!! I remember clearly filling up a form for a university rep to get me, but nobody came for the poor little Chinese girl T.T The airport was tiny, with few people. It was cold, and the snow was pouring outside. Not having a phone, I attempted to use a pay phone with the nickels I have in my pocket. But, I COULDN'T OPERATE THE PHONE. Perhaps it's because it has been a gazillion years since any of us have to use something like that.

In the end, I resolved to borrowing a stranger's phone to dial the only number I know - Alexis' hahahaha thanks lah friend :) I may not fully comprehend why GOD placed us back together but I'm glad to have you to kick start this new chapter with.

Life has been good here; GOD has been awesome as always. I praise and give thanks to GOD for this safe and good journey. I have absolutely no worries; strangely, I am more at ease compared to the times back in Malaysia. I don't feel homesick. I miss you people, ya, I really do but I know all is good with you guys back in Malaysia and that is good with me. A friend I met from Indonesia said she is foodsick, not homesick! I miss bak kut teh!

Classes will start on Monday, I'm EXCITED! I'm wondering what GOD has in store for me this 2010. No matter what, by faith I shall pursue His will and His ways; walking by faith and not by sight!