Sunday, May 30, 2010


Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire, to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm afraid you'll forget about me.

Edge of desire by John Mayer

Being back feels different.

It felt as if I came back from another planet because things here are so different from how things are in Nebraska. The people are different, the attitude is different, the food is different; being in a city so different from small (but special) town Lincoln. Life runs on a different schedule.

But time with family and friends is amazing as always. With them is the only time I feel things haven't change, partially because I've only left for 4 months.

In Malaysia,
I can speak Malaysian again.
I'm reading The Star again.
And I'm driving Betty again.

And Alexis is right; back here in Malaysia, I'm more in touch with the American culture than I was when I was in America. Here, I hear about American Idol on the radio so often. There, I didn't even know American Idol started. I hear about the Hollywood celebrities on radio; there, I hear only the muffled sounds of the radio playing Lady Gaga (rarr rarr gaa gaa) from the bathroom across my dorm room.

I guess we are only getting the generalized American culture here. The one about the stars and celebrities and "liberal" ideas - drinking, partying, pre-marriage cohabitation. The other ideas are harder to catch on - courtesy, innovation, hard work.

While driving home the other day, I thought so much about the people here. And of GOD's presence here. No matter how much I love being in the United States, my heart is still here with my fellow Malaysians. Malaysians are also GOD's people and Malaysia is still GOD's nation. And I dream of our nation following Jesus.

Of course, it's only a dream.
Without prayers and actions in His power, dreams will remain what they are.

But this vision from GOD also told me to look beyond my petty problems.
I have been dwelling in my problems for far too long.
I have been thinking about me for far too long.

It is about others.

It is about GOD's people.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Finals! Finals! Finals!

It is Finals week!
I've been spending at least 14hours a day in the basement computer lab studying since last Saturday.

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone
Unknown and hurt

It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew
All the riches in the world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot

It's a strange relief to know that I don't belong here;
that GOD has set apart a place for me in His new Kingdom.

But while I'm still here,
Lord, I pray to be doing Your will.