Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Frustrated

This semester, I decided to be more involved in campus organizations and decided to run for vice-president for both clubs. Well, actually only for one club; I ran for president and got the second job instead. I admit, I was incredibly ambitious. I already have a job plus 16 credit hours including PSYC 350 - made into a compulsory class for Psychology majors because if it ain't compulsory nobody would sign up for this class. It is the most hectic, assignment loaded class I've ever had since I started college in 2008. I'm doing my PSYC 350 lab homework now, at 4:20am, and I will be still doing them tomorrow, and day after tomorrow, and the following day, and so forth until finals come.

I took up the job because I want to make a change, and I want to learn. Strangely, I never have thoughts that I will deal with actual humans when I took up the job. I want to learn how to be attentive to details, how to be creative, how to efficient and effective....but instead, now I'm stuck at - how to deal with people who are incredibly different from you. People who have different cognitive processes, different working styles, different values hence different emphasis in their work. Lately, I have been incredibly uptight and frustrated when dealing with such people. I want to be humble and see things from a different perspective but I'm just too stubborn and self-righteous for now.

And I bring this frustration outside those meetings; my life has just been accumulating this sense of fatigue and frustration. I am late for my classes and I lost my motivation to learn, which was why I hunger to attend an American college in the first place. Sigh. I need a break. Winter break come quick.

It has only been 2 months since I got back to Lincoln, Nebraska. But it really does feel like 1 year has passed because so much has happened, yet so much is still waiting to be done.

At 4:33am now, it'll be back to PSYC 350 lab work.

I must be reminded that my frustrations are minor compared to anything else. There is so much that needs to be done in our world and back home in Malaysia. The world must be a much better place if each of us think less of ourselves. I'm not espousing the cheesy "think about others" and things like that, but I truly believe if we think less about ourselves and our self-importance (-a truly effective product marketing tool-) the world could be a MUCH better place.



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