Thursday, January 27, 2011

Open My Eyes

I guess I am coming into terms that I cannot know everything.
I can try, but still I will be far from having perfect knowledge.

I try and I try.
But without God, it is impossible.

I might not be trying hard enough,
but without God, what is the point of trying?

If I were to amass all these knowledge and just die one day,
what is the point to it?
I will only become bitter and prideful.

So, open my eyes, LORD.
Only you can give me the perfect peace in life.
Open my eyes to see the beauty of your love again.
I will follow your lead.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Isn't it strange to watch another year go by?

In Malaysia, I face more or less the same weather every day. It is always about 26 degree Celsius, some days hotter than the other. And it is always 99% humidity. Here in Lincoln, Nebraska, I am reminded that time is constantly moving because of the seasons change. I arrived in Lincoln January 6th, the place looked like Siberia. Then, the ice started to melt in March. Eventually, I can finally see the green space in front of Selleck. It got hotter and hotter, and soon I could wear my flip flops again. Then in September, the days got cooler. Now back in January, it looks like Siberia again.

As I was walking back from class, warm and protected from the falling snow, I was reminded that it has been a year since I got here. Well, I spent 3 months in Malaysia but still! It is my second year here now. It doesn't feel terribly long when I think of it now but the semesters feel REALLY long. I was walking back to my room yesterday and it felt like I was walking back home. It didn't feel like a room which I am keeping all my stuff for the moment but it felt like my home now.

I haven't been praying or reading the Bible much. I have just been studying it. To intellectually inspect what the writings really mean, so to speak. It is true that a different perspective helps to read things differently. I no longer understand the same words as I used to read it. It is funny how a change of mind can cause a change of heart. And vice versa. There must be somewhere both is connected. But where...